Step Into My Hyundai: It's Business Time, Petra, Baby

“Listen to that little squirt out there, talkin’ shit, and it couldn’t mean a thing…”
-From ‘The Criminal Inside Me’ by R.L. Burnside

Mmm, MMM, it looks like Aphrodite’s kid sister took some notice of me. You see, Petra over at The Wise (*Young*) Mommy has invited me into a contest to be the new male half of “HeBlogs/SheBlogs”, the weekly column she runs on her blog. For personal reasons, the handsome and talented Heinous at Irregularly Periodic Ruminations has to take a leave of absence, and Petra, well, she doesn’t want to be alone, youknowwhutImsane? WHICH SHE WON'T BE BECAUSE OF HER STUNNINGLY HANDSOME, ULTRA-VIRILE HUSBAND.

So naturally, she thought of me. So handsome, so virile, knows his way around a keyboard. HehHeh. Now, I know when you click on the link to her blog you’ll see that my name isn’t on the original list of whipping boys, er, contestants. I was a little worried myself, until I saw the e-mail from her in my inbox, saying “Drop what yer doin’ get down upon yer knees, I’ve a message for you, that ya better believe.” Well, what would you have done? Yeah, that’s what I thought. It was then I understood what was going on. HehHeh.

“I know what you’re trying to say, baby. You’re trying to say, ooh yeah, it’s business time.” Business time, indeed. Petra, I know what you were really doing. You didn’t want to put me in the list right away, because you didn’t want to scare off the other fellows, yeah. That’s it. No, no, I’m not insulted, you were just playing nice. And I’ve seen your picture; you’re all kinds of nice, darlin’. And you need “contestants” if you want to call it a “contest”, yeah, I know what you are trying to say. What’s that? A list? Okay, if I must. Oh, I get it. I should list the other “guys” to show all the ladies who the king really is, yeah; they’ll be the white gold setting to my “crown jewels”, uh, huh. Alright, the gentleman that I am never fails to please his lady. The eunuchs, er, strapping lads who have also been “invited” are:

Ron at Clark Kent’s Lunchbox (entry post on Thursday, February 12th)
Ryan at Pacing the Panic Room (entry post on Thursday, February 12th)
IB from Idiot’s Stew (entry post on Tuesday, February 10th)
Chad ‘Captain Dumbass’ from Us and Them (entry post on Wednesday, February 11th)
Matt from DC Urban Dad (entry post on Wednesday, February 11th)
Joe from Crotchety Old Man Yells At Cars (entry post on Tuesday, February 10th)
Christopher from Cajoh (entry post on Monday, February 9th)

I’m all about the fairness, ladies, so there they are. Feel free to humiliate, er, visit them, let them know they are nice, pretty lads and all, but that you’ve tasted of the Emerald Isle and no other gumbo will do!

Petra, you aren’t known as ‘Wise’ for nothing. It may be part of your last name, baby, but it means wisdom, too. That’s cool. And thank you, so very much for letting me in, you know? It was cold out there on the lawn all night, trying to hide from the cops. But now that I’m here, let’s stop playin’ games, it’s….business time.

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Kidding aside, I am very flattered and delighted to have been asked to participate. Heinous has left us all a big hill to climb, AND BY HILL I IN NO GUISE MEANT PETRA, AT ALL, and we all wish him blessings and luck as he takes care of his personal matters. Along with Heinous, and all of the fellows listed above, I am proud to be in some excellent writerly company indeed. Petra will be posting two entries a day (mine is Monday, tomorrow) through Thursday, eight in all, with voting beginning Thursday evening. Please visit with Petra, read all the entries, and VOTE. The decision, I think, will be difficult to make. These guys are good. Thank you!