07162003
07222003
08082003
10302004
05??2009
08092009
02112010
03??2010
04??2011
05012012
06242016
07302016
04292017
The wheels crank and turn in the riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, that is my heart. Numbers scroll past the inside of my eyelids, grown weary of holding them open to witness the majesty and tragedy of the last fifteen years of life. Love, death, and heartbreak neatly condensed to digits as if that would provide some anesthesia or euphoria.
They do not. Not entirely in either direction of pleasure or pain. The numbers are signposts. Delineators of anniversaries never to be forgotten, some cherished, some dreaded.
Summer is the season of heat. The cipher transforms it into a hell broken only by the memories of love that somehow have survived amongst the ruins. Those memories, as water cupped in my hands brought to a trembling mouth that gulps to soothe the burning in my heart.
The wheels crank and turn. The code will be scrambled. With luck, the vault will stay shut long enough for healing to take hold. Healing perhaps will make the numbers add up to something.
The good numbers are starting to reach the top.
ReplyDeleteSometimes taking time before letting in anything new is a good thing. It lets you figure out what you need and want before opening yourself again. I hope the numbers stop spinning and let you rest for a bit or at least find breathing room.
ReplyDeleteI need to convince myself to slow down and breathe. Figuring out what I want is the Next Big Thing for myself.
DeleteThis was captivating, it made me think of my own list of numbers. In a way, reducing the tragic events of my past into a combination that represents the vault within...strangely cathartic. Thank you...
ReplyDelete