28 January 2013

Magpie Tales 153: Crush

Charlotte Gainsbourg, AnOther via Magpie Tales

Never so jealous of records
'til now, my vinyl rivals lay
on skin, bright, electric
My throat too tight to say

Soundtrack to my puberty
Sweaty hands choke cheap booze
She isn't like the girls used to be
Ravens and swans I dreamt to lose

Holding up the walls, my lip-locked friends
Heart staring, wishing opal eyes on me
Iron-soft hands caress covers, record spins,
I bite back on what will never be

17 January 2013

On What We Could Be Doing

Dear readers, I know my posting of things has been rather sparse, and for that I offer my regrets. The usual suspects are involved: life events, job search pressures, the endless search for food and revenue. I do not offer them as excuses, only factors. But those factors alone do not account for my relative silence.

No, it is more. Two things at odds with each other.

It is the Buddhist idea of "mindfulness" versus the overbearing, seemingly endless paranoia and violence of the culture surrounding me in these here United States. I'm at a bit of impasse as to how to resolve the tension. It is giving me tremendous food for thought, yet stifling my creativity and energy.

I am trying to practice mindfulness (the awareness of one's body, one's feelings, one's thoughts and perceptions, and consciousness itself), because I am becoming aware of how it may help me in my quest for inner peace. It helps me realize peace and appreciate beauty in ways that escaped me as a younger man.

But it has made me more aware...of everything. Or almost everything. This means that the overload of information from events over the past two or so years, such as vitriolic politics seemingly devoid of reason and the horrific acts of gun violence (and the continued willfully irrational fallout from both) have strained my internal resources close to the point of non-functioning.

This makes me sad.

When I consider all the wonderful things we could be doing with our time, like caring more for our fellow humans, creating beauty, working constructively for a better future for all of us in this supposedly free society in contrast to what actually happens (violence, hatred, partisanship)...I lose energy and motivation.

There is much beauty to be had, love to be shared, yet we spend our time building walls, digging trenches and tearing down others. So many advantages and blessings, squandered.

Bah. It is winter and I am feeling tired. I am mindful of that, and know that it will pass. Perhaps the practice of mindfulness will teach me to celebrate what I can do, rather than mourn what others cannot seem to do. This is my hope.

14 January 2013

Magpie Tales 151: Larva

Image via Tess at Magpie Tales

Swallowing the scrip
to leave the hell I'm living
Silence your laughter!

08 January 2013

Magpie Tales 150: Townhouse

image by Daniel Murtagh, via Magpie Tales

"Colleen, I...I...when can I...?"
Question unanswered, she shuts the door,
While he clutches his Donegal tweed
hair beaded with misty rain,
Going cold there on the doorstep
hands losing sense-memory of her,
Door latches, a metal snick
cutting the strings of his heart

05 January 2013

Gift of the Chilis

Beseeching the gods
Night, eating round the table,
bestowed us chilis