One of the smartest things I have ever done is set down the glass before it is too late. Years bring wisdom, of sorts, to them that cares to pay attention. And I do. Most of the time. But I wonder, yes I do, what I would be if I didn't listen to the voice of reason as much as I think I do.
Ahhh...it's not reason, perhaps? Cowardice, maybe? I cannot say for sure. It is dangerous to listen too closely to the ego. Ego wants what it wants, and it can talk itself into anything in pursuit of its own gratifications. Or delusions. The ego is ruthless.
I am learning that sometimes I should not listen to myself. This goes against the very fiber of my mind, because I have long believed that my mind was Me, and the only thing I could trust. Ha. I was wrong.
So I sit here, on a Friday night, quietly and at home with the television as company. And I know this is not a bad thing, not for now. Better than flogging my brain cells with barley pops, surrounded by people I am afraid to talk to or with...and believing my ego when it tells me I'm a boss.
Trust me, I'm smarter now.