One of the smartest things I have ever done is set down the glass before it is too late. Years bring wisdom, of sorts, to them that cares to pay attention. And I do. Most of the time. But I wonder, yes I do, what I would be if I didn't listen to the voice of reason as much as I think I do.
Ahhh...it's not reason, perhaps? Cowardice, maybe? I cannot say for sure. It is dangerous to listen too closely to the ego. Ego wants what it wants, and it can talk itself into anything in pursuit of its own gratifications. Or delusions. The ego is ruthless.
I am learning that sometimes I should not listen to myself. This goes against the very fiber of my mind, because I have long believed that my mind was Me, and the only thing I could trust. Ha. I was wrong.
So I sit here, on a Friday night, quietly and at home with the television as company. And I know this is not a bad thing, not for now. Better than flogging my brain cells with barley pops, surrounded by people I am afraid to talk to or with...and believing my ego when it tells me I'm a boss.
Trust me, I'm smarter now.
21 May 2011
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Sometimes...your labels are better than your post. They make me bust out laughing when you post makes me go all thinky.
ReplyDeleteSo you need a kick in the arse to rejoin the world, huh? The bar scene isn't the place....find the people you WANT to talk to.
I know the next question. And just WHERE the heck is that place? I certainly wish I knew the answer.
Gah...I meant "your post"...
ReplyDeletesometimes, i sits and think. and other times, i just sits.
ReplyDeleteit took me a long time to see the harmony and beauty in those words, sugar. enjoy the gift of your own company. xoxoxox
My Friday night consisted of sitting in the dark with my sunglasses on...no booze, sex, or drugs were involved...allergies in the eyes, or I am just getting old :) but I get what your saying :)
ReplyDeletewisdom is a good thing. Last night I had one too many gin & tonics while out 'celebrating.' Luckily, only a tiny tiny headache in the morning. Usually my internal angle kicks in to save me from such excesses, but last night I got carried away and gently pushed my angle off my shoulder. Next time, like most times, I'll listen to her. She does know best, after all.
ReplyDeletesome days I just feel dark and twisty and unreasonably blah .. and sometimes on those dark, twisty, blah days I come in search of my smile. Apparently, it was waiting for me in your labels today and it had a friend with it .. a giggle.
ReplyDeleteThere's not a thing wrong with enjoying your own company on a Friday night, my friend. I've spent many a night enjoying the quiet comfort of my own company.
LOL...my angel used to wear full leather and his advice was always dangerous.
ReplyDelete