I'm here. Not doing much, but I'm here. Good thing I brought a hat. The November sun hits low in the cool air, but it can still burn me. I am waiting beside the tracks for the train whose number I do not know. I suppose I'll sit here a spell and wait for the shadows to lengthen over the hill. A tunnel bores through the hill like a wide-open vein.
Metaphorically, you understand. The reality is that I am sitting on my couch. Sundown was three hours ago. the quiet in the house is just what I need. I'm a little confused that it is warm enough that I have some windows open to catch the breeze. Post-holiday fatigue has set in, it is a shade lonely here at Casa Del Gumbo.
But I am waiting. That is no metaphor.
I accomplished a lot today. I'll spare your the tedium of my Domestic God triumphs, let's just say a lot of ducks and a lot of rows now march behind me. The two things I did NOT get done, however, weigh on my big noggin. Here's what I did not get done:
1) Find a job.
2) Write something truly edifying.
It's funny, right now I cannot decide which pains me more. I managed to get a resume out the door, but the 22 others behind it? Nothing. As to the writing, dear readers, I'm in a pickle. This is the longest drought I think I've ever had. It has me worried. It also makes me tired.
I have this recurring image in my head of popping a cork from a bottle to pour something, only nothing comes out. Except a puff of air. And the tang of desperation. So, the glass remains empty in this most quiet of Novembers.
It's deep fall in the woods by the river. I hear its murmurs, faint and silvery as they filter up through the barren trees. The rail bed gravel is warm beneath my haunches, a welcome buffer against the slow cooling of the air. The air itself is tinged with watery gold as the sun goes down. The mineral tang of rock embraces the dusty grass aroma of the weeds on the embankment. A soft, steady breath of cold air wafts from the mouth of the tunnel as I peer into the gathering darkness in the middle. The rails, twin seams of polished silver leading to a mouth of gold at the far end of the tunnel. I stare into the gold, eyes owlish with fatigue.
I place my hands on the burnished metal rail in front of me. It trembles ever so faintly, but I cannot tell if a train is coming, or the earth is sighing. I remove my hands, and wait.