Dear readers, I know my posting of things has been rather sparse, and for that I offer my regrets. The usual suspects are involved: life events, job search pressures, the endless search for food and revenue. I do not offer them as excuses, only factors. But those factors alone do not account for my relative silence.
No, it is more. Two things at odds with each other.
It is the Buddhist idea of "mindfulness" versus the overbearing, seemingly endless paranoia and violence of the culture surrounding me in these here United States. I'm at a bit of impasse as to how to resolve the tension. It is giving me tremendous food for thought, yet stifling my creativity and energy.
I am trying to practice mindfulness (the awareness of one's body, one's feelings, one's thoughts and perceptions, and consciousness itself), because I am becoming aware of how it may help me in my quest for inner peace. It helps me realize peace and appreciate beauty in ways that escaped me as a younger man.
But it has made me more aware...of everything. Or almost everything. This means that the overload of information from events over the past two or so years, such as vitriolic politics seemingly devoid of reason and the horrific acts of gun violence (and the continued willfully irrational fallout from both) have strained my internal resources close to the point of non-functioning.
This makes me sad.
When I consider all the wonderful things we could be doing with our time, like caring more for our fellow humans, creating beauty, working constructively for a better future for all of us in this supposedly free society in contrast to what actually happens (violence, hatred, partisanship)...I lose energy and motivation.
There is much beauty to be had, love to be shared, yet we spend our time building walls, digging trenches and tearing down others. So many advantages and blessings, squandered.
Bah. It is winter and I am feeling tired. I am mindful of that, and know that it will pass. Perhaps the practice of mindfulness will teach me to celebrate what I can do, rather than mourn what others cannot seem to do. This is my hope.
17 January 2013
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Don't carry more than you can lift.
ReplyDeleteThe world is distressingly imperfect, or the people are at least.
the further we delve into understanding the world, the more we realize there is no earthly source of knowledge capable of making sense. The very concept of "should" being different from what "is"...is hurtful. I seek solace in biblical wisdom, and others in other places. The bible, at least, predicted this time we live in down to a science and it also predicts how some would combat it. idk. 2 cents deposited. winter only last so long
ReplyDeleteIndeed, winter can only last so long :)
DeleteI hear you, and I know this feeling.
ReplyDeleteGumbo - no more grumpy old man talk :) Pipe and slippers for you next of you are not careful!! Bootstraps and pull - we need you lol.
ReplyDeleteHa! Yes, ma'am, I shall do my best :)
DeleteAnd here we are in another winter - knocking around in our inner worlds trying to shield ourselves from the yuckiness out there.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing a fine job.
Thank you for that shot of confidence :)
DeleteI think you'll find a happy medium…it's just the newness of being aware. ThatManILove goes through this from time to time…it's a good thing. xoxoxox Irish.
ReplyDeleteTwo words.
ReplyDeleteWinter. Sucks.