18 November 2009

A Friend of Mine Said "I Quit Smoking Cold Turkey..."

"...and I said, 'Whaddya smoke now? Ham?'..."*

Badabing! Yes, ladies and gentlemen and indeterminates, I am a comedian! Sometimes...

You know, in my line of work, I regularly get accosted by idiots pretending to be savants**, people asking me patently stupid questions and the like. So it didn't surprise me when IB at Idiot's Stew bugged the shit out of me asked me very politely to lay up a guest post for his "Turkey Palooza" fest of all things Thanksgiving-ly bloggable. Having a soft spot in the Gumbo ticker for idiots, especially idiots as cool my bud Ian (an idiot who actually knows something, mind you), I immediately said f#*k off moron yes, I would be immensely pleased to be a part of such a horrendous travesty festive and heartwarming event in the blog-o-sphere. So my chilluns, go forth and visit Idiot's Stew for to read my humble contribution to the party.S tay awhile, rifle through his CD collection, steal some books...just don't touch the beer unless he says its okay...you'll enjoy the visit I'm sure!

*Yes, I ripped that off from Yakov Smirnoff. What? It's funny!
**Oddly enough, have not been accosted by any idiot savants.

And I just remembered to include the link. Ai yi yi...


  1. I was not pretending to be a savant, actually I was pretending to be an ignoramus. But I guess it is an easy mistake to make.

  2. Your Shtick is pretty short...

    I can imagine you doing some stand up piece...

    Okay both of those lines seem like they might be leading to a punch line, maybe...but uh no...funny I woke up very early from a dream, I was still at my open mic and doing jokes...that's ignoramus...or a nightmare...

  3. As a matter of fact, I do need to update some music on my iPod. Thanks for the invite!

  4. I loved your piece over at IB's....lovely.


  5. That meant to say: Now pass the turkey.

  6. Yes, sir! Following, sir! Although, as posts go, this one was pretty funny...

  7. Ah, you do amuse yourself, don't you, sir!

    On my way to Ian's to see what you've written.

  8. I have terrible terrible jpegs of the "stuffed" Thanksgiving turkey and the gruesome "how pumpkin pies are made" if you should need them for your guest post. :)

  9. The post at IB was excellent. I hope you are teaching your stealth moves to the Wee Lass?

  10. even your "ads" for other things are great. Off to IB...

  11. This blog much resembles emails I would love to be able to send out at work most days.... Or just straight up four letter word laden emails followed by the occasional "off" or "you."


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Don't suffer your crimes
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