If On a Winter's Night a Timesuck*

Ahh, the Internet. The biggest timesuck in the history of Mankind, but it does serve a purpose. Or should that be purposes? Whatever, I am sure you would agree that having Internet access on a reasonable computer allows one to waste more time more efficiently, in more ways and over a broader range of topics than ever before. Finally, I have landed in (techno) Nirvana! A chilly winter’s night and I am contemplating a few of my past and current timesucks, and I share them now with you…

1) My new iPod: Okay, not really the web per se. But between a brand new fiber-optic hookup and the latest version of iTunes, my music collection is hovering up quite a bit of my free time. On the plus side, I am finally getting things organized and expanding my collection to get all the past and current music I never had the time or money or energy to pursue. Wee Lass and I (and her stuffed animals) are starting a new bedtime ritual of listening to a random assortment of songs. I dig it.

2) ElfYourself: Okay, this one has been out for a while, but it’s still pretty funny. Who doesn’t look hilarious wearing an elf hat and pointy shoes? We even put a picture of one of our cats in it; laughed so hard I snorted. Just don’t do this at work. If you do use it at work, don’t use a picture of your boss. If you do you use a picture of your boss, make sure he or she doesn’t see it. Unless you want it to be seen, in which case I hope your boss has a good sense of humor. Get your elf on: http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/

3) BandNameMaker: A new one on me! A former coworker (former in that she left to have a child, not for pink slip reasons) turned me on to it. I know it’s just a random word generator, but some of the names it came up with had me laughing so hard I nearly wet myself. Best Name I Would Use If I Were Starting A Band: ‘Celtic Funk Snake’ (copyrighted now!). Best Name I Would Not Use If I Were Starting A Band: ‘Farting Tuba Hole'. Waste some time at www.bandnamemaker.com/

4) Yearbook Yourself: The latest and greatest timesuck to grace my laptop screen. The possibilities could be endless! This could be a cheap way to make some photos for silly Christmas cards, or birthday cards or maybe embarrass someone with a particularly goofy picture or two, say like these two:

What really gave me case of the heebie-jeebies is that there was a time in my distant path where my hair was frightfully similar to some of those photos. Since then I have learned a thing or two about fashion and grooming. I've been practicing and working out. All that hard work paid off. Good thing I look like this now:

*A tip o’ the hat to the memory of Italo Calvino (1923-1985), Italian author of some very fine, if somewhat quirky stories and novels. His If On a Winter’s Night a Traveler provided the inspiration for the title of this post.