15 December 2009

End Result of Drinking Radioactive Beer

Seen in the window of a gift "emporium" at the local Cathedral of Excess Consumerism*:


 
I suppose the only way it could be any better would be if it was "Stripper-Pole Mounted". In case you had no idea where to use this, I like the helpful suggestions of "DORM ROOMS" and "FRAT PARTIES" and "RIVER TRIPS". Oh, and "CAMP SITES"...because the only thing better than one drunk-ass idiot rolling down the hill towards the latrines is SIX drunk-ass idiots rolling down the hill towards the latrines. 

Remember folks, it holds a twelve-pack, so buy in bulk.

*The local mall, in prime holiday shopping time. My little daughter was with me at the time. She's really smart and very observant. Fortunately she didn't see it. No way in hell I'd have been able to explain that to her. Wrong, so wrong...

22 comments:

  1. Oh Dang...I already bought my sweetie an OSU Beaver-print snuggie for Christmas...how could I have missed such a cool gift? Bad wife.

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  2. Didn't they have these affixed to all the light posts in Haight from 1967 to 1973, but had to take them down because too many Grateful Dead fans inadvertently hung themselves trying to roll down Ashbury to the latrine?

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  3. River trips? Who goes on group river trips and thinks about this kind of thing?!

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  4. there wouldn't be any drunk-ass guys rolling down the hill toward the latrines.... they'd just go behind the tree. now there might be female drunk ass idiots rolling down the hill toward the latrines.

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  5. I love the "Parental Advisory" sticker next to it. So the store knows they sell inappropriate crap and specially selected this product to demonstrate it??

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  6. If I can find one in the UK I'll get one! It saves me all the stress and discomfort of getting out of my chair. I just need that and my 8 remotes to be happy!

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  7. You to little daughter: Well, you blow into these tubes, and it make bubbles come out the top!

    Totally true, so, you know, you won't go to H-E-C-K.

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  8. Classic.

    We used to make those things from stolen parts out of our parents garages. Where else but here in the USA would someone think to commercialize such a thing?

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  9. Ah, Spencer's - isn't it a lovely store? The Young One has this love/hate relationship with the place; he's gotten some very cool hats and his Nintendo Wii bookbag there (he's used it two years in a row), but he's still young enough to be embarrassed by the "raunchier" items. I just spend the time I'm forced to be there shaking my head and imagining what my mother would have to say about the merchandise.

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  10. It holds a 12 pack? I just know my wife will love that for Xmas!

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  11. well hopefully nobody will waste any good beer in this piece of junk. Love beer but it's not the buzz it's the taste.

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  12. Lately, I've been having to explain various drug paraphernalia to my 16 yr old. And some of it, I have NO idea what it is.

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  13. Some men need really extreme excuses so they can behave in a sexual manner around each other.

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  14. I like Middle Aged Woman's response.

    Wonder if Hef has one of those.

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  15. If this is what the requirement is for 'FRAT PARTIES', 'RIVER TRIPS' AND 'DORM ROOMS' I have to say that I am intensely happy that I'm out of the normal schooling situation. (WHEW)

    Don't get me wrong, I've done my share of beer bongs --

    (Some even standing on my hands! I know you're impressed, I'm sure everyone was at the time too. Not nearly as impressive as my quarters skillz though! I digress.)

    -- But I sincerely hope I never run into one of those at any function I may be invited to! Good thing the kidlet didn't catch sight of it. Whew!

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  16. I never had tried a beer bong, or wait is it...hmmm I cannot remember, wait should I even be sharing this?

    Oh hell why not! You only live once, and who the hell cares...maybe my mom, but she should have tried it, her life might have been a bit more edgy...on a scooner heading out to sea some other divers were partaking, and I mentioned I had not ever done it, I had just turned 40, so I did it three times in a row...I still managed to walk off the boat, and never looked back!

    I also got a tattoo that summer...

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  17. I totally need one of those for Christmas. You know, or maybe not. My Mother-in-Law may not see the humor....

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  18. dammit!
    i comented on this and i seem to have not entered it prawpelly
    now it's gone.
    dammit.

    i still want one thugh.

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  19. LOL!

    So... once upon a time my friends and I bought your run-of-the-mill red gas can and cut off the bottom and put a tube there the "gas spout" should be and used that as a beer bong. We put a 12 pack in it and there taking turns seeing who could chug the longest.... there was a lot of puking going on after the 3rd refill... Too bad they hadn't made this little invention, it may have spared half of us from the flu. lol.

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"Let your laws come undone
Don't suffer your crimes
Let the love in your heart take control..."


-'The Hair Song', by Black Mountain

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