09 April 2011

When Office Supplies Attack...

As if the workweek hadn't been enough of a drag, I got injured on the job, as only Irish Gumbo could do it.

I was assaulted by a binder clip.

You know the type: those blue-black metal ones, made out of spring steel and two chrome steel wire loops for handles.  The kind that have the crushing pressure of a small shark when they clamp down.  Which, by the way, is the main reason to NOT clip them on to any part of one's body.  Just sayin'.

It happened at my desk.  I had a stack of papers, a specification I was working on, that was almost two inches thick.  That measurement turns out to be at about the upper limit of what a large metal binder clip can hold.  I had clipped the stack together earlier in the week, and it had been doing a sort of Brownian motion dance around my desk as I constantly shifted it from one spot to another in pursuit of other pieces of paper.

During the course of all that movement, the clip had begun to work its way loose.  The paper was slowly slipping from the jaws of the binder, unbeknownst to me.  Until, that is, I picked it up not 30 minutes before I was due to leave the office for home.

I lifted the stack...
...noted that the clip looked loose...
...thought 'I better point that thing away fr--!"


The clip sprung off the stack like a bullet and hit me with the sharp edge on my upper lip.  Almost dead center under my nose.  That hurt!

How I managed to avoid blurting out a curse word, I'll never know.  My eyes were watering and I could taste blood.  Sure enough, the clip had split my lip.

(sigh) Only I could get hurt like that.  And now I can't shave off my beard/mustache until my lip heals!


  1. i think there's a multi-million dollar lawsuit here, Irish. Those clips ought to come with a written warning on every one, in words too small for anyone to read, but just enough to cover the manufacture's ass.

    ouch. hope it heals quickly. It gives me the heebie geebies just thinking about the accident!

  2. And we though paperwork was safe. I, too, thought that a simple thing like working on a computer's software was safe once. Then I broke my kneecap. The world is a dangerous place. Heal soon, my brother, and leave the moustache and beard. Maybe it will someday rival this one:


  3. Sounds like something that would happen to me as well.
    Hope it mends soon. Rest up this weekend. :-)

  4. Sup, Gumbo.
    Would've never known to look for danger in such an obvious place. You've opened my eyes. I'm now all over my paper clips, letter opener and that sinister stapler. We humans need to ban together. As one purpose, we can defeat these inanimate deathtraps. With our minds!

    The Cheeky Daddy

  5. What's the workers comp form look like for that one?

  6. binder clips can be assholes.

  7. First, I must get this out of the way. Don't.shave.

    Second, those binder clips are a great way to hold the hair out of the face when writing briefs at the office late at night.


"Let your laws come undone
Don't suffer your crimes
Let the love in your heart take control..."

-'The Hair Song', by Black Mountain

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