09 June 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Golden Hamster Edition



LET'S GET READY TO RRRRUMMMMMBBBBLE! It's that time of the week again , so let's go crazy and look for that purple banana until they put us in the truck!* Grab a button, and get all random and stuff!

WORD FOR THE DAY: The word for the day is "schlong". Say it out loud. "SCHLONG". Consider it carefully. Schlong. schlongschlongschlong. Now you can't stop thinking about it, can you? AIIIIGGGGHHH!!!

WEIRD AND LOVELY THINGS: The lurvely Purest Green at where there are no chickadees sent me a most amazing postcard of what she called "ghost surgeons". It was just weird enough that I had to see it. Check this out:


This is an actual painting, at the (I think) National Galleries of Scotland (PG, help me out here) called Three Oncologists. And it hangs in a portarit gallery. Commissioned in 2002. Pretty bizarro, and I'm glad (?) I asked to see the card. Speaking of cards, Purest Green has a bit of a small project to send postcards to people. Why, you ask? So she can send all the ones she has and then go buy more, silly! If you would like a card, drop by her blog, tell her I sent you, and ask nicely. And check out the picture of her with the big hat, fit for the Queen Mum.

WEIRDO RELIGIOUS FACTS, VOL. 1 - BOGOMIL IS BULGARIAN FOR "DEAR TO GOD": Among other things, the Bogomils (a religious sect that arose in 10th Century Bulgaria) believed that God had two sons, the rebellious Satan and the obedient Jesus. No surprise, the Bogomils were considered heretics. Still, the idea isn't that far-fetched...but I wouldn't want to be called "Bogomil". Sounds like infant formula for clowns...

HOME ENTERTAINING WITH IRISH GUMBO: When having squirrels** over as guests, make sure to have on hand some drink coasters that double as nut dishes. We must be gracious to ALL our guests, no?

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PICKLE?: It's a battle to the death. Dill? Kosher dill? Bread and butter? Garlic pickles? Cornichons? Gherkins? It's like you go to the supermarket thinking "Dude, I wants me some pickles" and you get there and there is Claussen and Vlasic and Mt. Olive and the store brand and the kosher ones you can only find in the refrigerated section next to the bottles of horseradish and a brand called "Ba-Tampte", oh and those ones that come in the bright yellow can that say "Mediterranean Sweet and Sour Pickles" and then when you go back to finally try them the cans still have pictures of pickles on them but they don't say "Sweet and sour" anymore, it's something else, so back to the other aisle and then kee-ripes its slices or stackers or whole or whole baby pickles or relish, oh, hell no I didn't want relish I wanted pickles, pickles, PICKLES dammit, why did this have to be soooo harrrrrddddd....(beats head on floor).

POOL DORK: For the first time ever, I had the pool all to myself. Actually, it was me and the lifeguard, but she wasn't swimming. So what is the first thing Mr. Michael Phelps (not) does when he hits the water? Takes off swimming like a brick and sucks in a big snootful of highly chlorinated water. Which leads to his imitation of a hippopotamus with a lung problem. Yeah, man, real smooth, hornking and snorting like that...

BUT CAN YOU PLAY KLEZMER MUSIC ON IT?: Finally, for anyone looking for a weekend project to do with the kids:

Whew! So there it is, another RanDoooM 2sDayyy Thawts! Happy Tuesday, one and all!


*Bonus points and kudos if you know what that is from.
**Everyone except IB and cIII, that is.

18 comments:

  1. Lime pickle's a favorite, and I will NOT say schlong for chrissakes, what's wrong with you???

    ReplyDelete
  2. schlong?

    dong
    wrong
    sarong

    that's allI got........

    ReplyDelete
  3. So go ahead, go nuts go apeshit....

    n- n- now th- that don't kill me
    can only make me stronger
    i need you to hurry up now
    cause i can't wait much longer

    Random but that's what popped in to my head the minute I started
    reading...but it is Random Tuesday..:D

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hilarious post today, pal. "...an infant formula for clowns." Ha!

    Gotta mop up some coffee off the screen.

    IB

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your squirrels use Coasters? Awesome.

    Mine mainly try, at every convenience, to put on a Tijuana Donkey Show.

    Also, after reading the "Bonus Point" phrase I have this irrational desire to put on a pair of Purple assless pants. Weird.

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  6. The word for the day reminded me of Pee Wee's Playhouse. Not so much the word (well maybe that too), but the whole thought of having a word for the day. Now we all just scream when we hear the word right…

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  7. Kosher Dills for SURE! Schlong is a fun ass word to say!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Schlong??? I haven't heard that one in awhile!!! LOL

    Kosher Dills and Sweet Baby Gherkins...Vlasic or Claussen....hehehehehe

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  9. You got a sqeaky laugh out of this Chef! From schlongs to pickles, that is a bummer! Once you had a schlong, you never go back, right?

    A friend once told me when she heard me say schlong; which I love to say just to get her goat, that she new me too well and knew it just was not right for me to say it, but 'SCHLONG' along we go...

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  10. Schlong! Hey - I know that card! I saw the painting at the National Portrait Gallery in Edinburgh. Some creepy notes about it:

    "The men represented in this painting are professors in the Department of Surgery and Molecular Oncology at Ninewells Hospital and Medical School in Dundee. All three men appear to have been disturbed in the middle of their duties: Professor Steele (left) has blood on his hands and Sir Alfred Cuschieri (centre) is holding a medical implement. The luminous quality of the paint makes the figures look almost ghostly, expressing the sense of horror and anxiety associated with cancer."

    Thanks for linking to my wee blog. Sadly, post card requests seem to have ground to a halt. But I am still determined to get through them, one at a time.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Once upon a time I worked somewhere you could buy a Shlong.... mind out of gutter..... It was actually at a surf shop and it was a "short long board"- let me tell you how great it was to explain to our customers that yes we had a board that would be great for them- it's called a shlong! LOVELY!!!!

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  12. I never thought of using coasters for squirrels. Hmmmmm.

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  13. Garlic Dill.

    Just that.

    Oh, and "if you don't like, the world you're living in? Take a look around. At least you got friends!
    "Called my ol' lady, for a friendly word,
    Picked up the phone, dropped it on the floor
    Ah! Ah! was all I heard!"

    Let's Go Crazy,

    Pearl

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  14. Cornichons. Mmmm.

    Schlong. Heh heh.

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  15. KiKi would rather eat a dill pickle than chocolate pudding. It is seriously strange.

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  16. Bogomil. Sounds like infant formula for clowns...

    This made me laugh so hard -- while I was slacking off at work reading blogs -- that the whole floor looked at me strangely and asked 'What's so funny'. I couldn't answer, I didn't have enough breath.

    My favorite pickle? Dill ... from Jimmy John's sammich shop. YUMMY!!!

    ReplyDelete

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Don't suffer your crimes
Let the love in your heart take control..."


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