02 November 2010

It's Not Just Fresh, Its 'Butt' Fresh

Yet another thing I'm surprised consumer products companies haven't made us worry about...

Earlier in the day, the Wee Lass and I watched an episode of 'Brain Surge' on Nickleodeon.  The Lass, she likes the burping noises and the references to flatulence.  I go along because it is a silly game show, and you actually do have to concentrate and pay attention to detail in order to advance.

Any one who loses a round has to leave the set via a twisty slide called the 'Brain Drain'.  It's not just a slide, it's a slide that has been partially filled with some sort of goop.  Of course, the poor sap who loses has to slide through the mess du jour, getting covered with shaving cream or Crisco or aerated dish soap, whatever it is the minds behind the show deem fit to use.

Wee Lass, of course, finds it hilarious.

Which brings us to the fast slide at a local amusement parlor for the kiddies.  We went to a birthday party there, the same day of Brain Surge.  It is one of those places that has all sorts of inflatable bouncy things akin to moon bounces, inflatable slides and obstacle courses, and they rent them out for parties and junior executive team building exercises*.  Run around like a maniac for an hour, bouncing (literally) off the walls and each other, then on to pizza or cake and ice cream.  It's quite cool, although a bit exhausting to watch.  Them tykes have some serious energy reserves.

So there is this slide there, a green plastic half-pipe attached to a small tree fort like structure.  At the bottom on the floor is a padded gym mat.  This gym mat is a good thing, because that slide was fast like so roads are fast: the kids were hurtling down that thing like they had been strapped to rockets.  Kids were crashing into the floor, each other, doing face plants and butt plants, and laughing like bastards the entire time.  Wee Lass was having a ball.

Later, she said to me, "Daddy, wouldn't it be funny if they filled the slide up with soap?"

I responded that, yep, I reckon that would have been pretty funny.  Then she got this gleam in her eye.

"Daddy, daddy! It would be better if they filled it with toothpaste!"

"Toothpaste?" I asked, puzzled.  She was giggling hard, and said "Yeah, 'cause then our butts would smell minty fresh!" and she dissolved in a fit of laughter.

I'm still chuckling over that one myself.

*Just kidding.  Although it could happen...


  1. I think she has a future in marketing....

  2. Gasp! Is it a global phenomenon? Last week my son complained all day about his backside feeling "minty". So strange I wrote about it. Your daughter may be on to something very spooky.

  3. bwahahahahaaa...ROTF.....minty butt fresh...i can see an entire ad campaign revolving around the aroma of your butt. :"do random dogs sniff your crotch area" "do you notice swarms of gnats near your jeans when you leave them on the floor over night..."


  4. I like her way of thinking! Maybe we should all try a little t-paste on the rump.

  5. junior executive team building exercises*

    When you find an employer that does this...please let me know.

    Minus the toothpaste.

    Let me know where this is. My "adult" friends would probably be willing to rent it out for a day...

  6. I like the way that she thinks.


"Let your laws come undone
Don't suffer your crimes
Let the love in your heart take control..."

-'The Hair Song', by Black Mountain

Tell me what is in your heart...