No Wonder There Is An Epidemic Of Brushfires and Children Smoking...

 I was going to light some candles, but couldn't find a responsible adult.

 

Sunday Contest: Caption That Stupid Picture, Fourth Edition

Holy crap, do you smell that? (sniff, sniff)

Could it be?

Yes, yes, it is! Looky there! Why it's the return of the STUPID PICTURE CAPTION CONTEST! Can I get a woot?!

Okay, maybe I didn't need that kind of woot...eeep...and that is not the picture I want you folks to caption for me. This is the one:

Scenes from a nature walk. Beer cans in their natural habitat...

It has been about seven months, seven months! since the last contest, can you believe that? I'm flabbergasted! How can that be?

...uh, mainly because I'm lazy, sometimes. Sheesh. So, a refresher for the rules is in order. Wait, rules? Did I say rules? Whaaa....? Really, all you need to do is leave your caption in the comments, I'll let them pile up for a few days and then, like compost, I'll turn them over when they are ready. Whoever can make me bellylaugh, snort, spittake or otherwise guffaw will be the winner. Prize is the respect and adulation of the Blogspot Chorale Society. And maybe a badge, if I can get off my duff and make one up.

Start casting them lines, people, there's fish to catch!

And, Charmaine? You can stop wagging that finger at me now...your wish is my command (grin).

Special thanks to MySpaceAntics.com for the woot pic. I'm going to wash my eyeballs, now.

Sunday Contest: Caption That Stupid Picture, Third Edition - WINNER! WINNER!

Yippee! Yippee! Hey, everybody, the new phone books are here!*

I want to thank everyone who stopped by and commented on this the 3rd edition of Stupid Photo Caption Contest, this was an amazing turnout, and there is an embar-ASS-ment** of riches this time around! With that in mind, I had a very difficult time picking a clear winner. There quite a few laugh out loud types, ‘spit-takers’ as we say in the biz. Very, very good stuff. You can all be proud!

Given that there were so many to choose from, I decided to break it down into some different categories, sort of like the Academy Awards with less cleavage. Well, frontal cleavage anyway. Here are the categories:

Honorable Mentions:
People’s Choice Award – self explanatory, I think.
Best New Vocabulary Award – For most interesting new word.
Far Side Award – For tapping into that ‘Far Side’ Spirit.
Golden Boot In The Ass Award – I have a weak spot for the footie.

And the Grand Prize:
Golden Wiener Award –They get the coveted ‘Irish Gumbo’ wiener award.

To mix things up a bit, I have also decided to randomly award one lucky person from the Honorable mention category to receive a IG wiener award as well. So, with further ado, let’s get to the awards, shall we? Let’s keep the acceptance speeches short and sweet, m’kay?

People’s Choice Award goes to…Michelle, at Michelle’s Blog! for “The lengths a man will go to avoid munching a rug..." She’s got something on her mind, what is it? Hmmm…

Best New Vocabulary Award goes to…Pseudonymous High School Teacher at Pseudonymous High School Teacher! for ‘sodomator’ as in “Daarth Vaaaader. I am your brother, lover, sodomator”. I don’t really know how she came up with that.

Far Side Award goes to…Kat, at 3 Bedroom Bungalow to Let in Crazytown! for “Jimmy thought rock climbing would be easy until he ended up on a sheer cliff and broke his neck. Bummer Jimmy, bummer.” I dig it. And out a shout out to Cambridge, UK!

Golden Boot In The Ass Award goes to…Red Squirrel, at Passably Content! For “Arsene Wenger's newest signing had heard of his Manager's reputation.....” Alright, probably only Red Squirrel, cIII and myself will get this one, but I’m a sucker for the football reference and, hey, Gooners have a sense of humor, too!

Randomly selected IG award: (roll a die, roll die) – Michelle!

And the big wiener, the ne plus ultra,

Golden Wiener Award goes to…Malisa at Moonlight Hollow Musings! for…
“Rump Ranger says, "I always keep my eyes open during sex!"

It could be a weird educational film mascot, or bizarre talking toy, even a cheesy action show: Rump Ranger Rides Again! (or should that be, 'Is Ridden Again')

Congratulations one and all!

To streamline the awards process, lucky winners can pick it up here:

And no cheating, this is the honor system. I think. Thanks so much to everyone for chiming in on this edition of the Stupid Photo Contest, I’m pleased and honored by your visits!

AN ANNOUNCEMENT: NEW FOOTBALL LEAGUE FORMATION
I hereby announce the formation of the Gumbo Primo League, consisting of some of the finest football***teams in the world. The Founding Teams are:

Arsenal – The Gunners – English (Irish Gumbo)
Tottenham Hotspur – ‘Spurs – English (Red Squirrel)
Liverpool – The Reds – English – (cIII at The Goat and Tater)

There is certainly room for more. If you would like to be included, please send me your favorite team, their name or mascot, the league and your name/blog or website. Favorite rallying cry or song would be cool, too. I will try and get links set up periodically. FOOTBALL; The Beautiful Game!

*Bonus points for the first person to correctly identify the movie quoted.
**’Bare ass’, get it? Hee, hee. I said ‘ass’.
***Soccer for the US fans. Although the other ‘football’ may be considered, if I like your team. I might even consider cricket and rugby. Send it in, let’s see what happens. I’ll work out the scoring later.

Sunday Contest: Caption That Stupid Picture, Third Edition

Whoo. I need the pause that refreshes, being that I am all tuckered out. I have been running pretty hard and fast as of late. Which I am wont to do when the ol' Gumbo brain gets overheated and Full Of Ideas (rather than what it usually seems to be full of; no comment from the peanut gallery, thank ye verra much!), the ferment of creativity tends to kick me into overdrive. Gets me all lathered up, like, and it wears me out. To borrow from the world of computer software/hardware (because I'm all about the tech stuff) design, I suffer from a "Buffer Overflow" problem, in which the Buffer (i.e. my brain) gets all Overflowing (i.e. too much crap trying to get through a too small space at the same time), thereupon inducing blank stares, occasional drooling and an overwhelming desire to run to Rio and just sit on the beach staring at all the lovelies in the multi-colored butt-floss outfits. Butt-floss tends to get me relaxed (well, most of me is relaxed, anyway) and calm. Finds my 'center', don't you know.

Not being possessed of excess cash or time, I settled on the next best thing: I decided to slow it down, kick it down a notch, chill. Give the grey matter some time to cool off. think of it as a mini-vacation for the neurons. Synapses are on double overtime, though, they have some extra shifts to pull. Anyway, with that in mind, I present to you, 'Tercera edición' of the Irish Gumbo Stupid Photo Contest. This is today's stupid photo:

This was in the middle of my living room floor this afternoon, I have no idea how it got there. The gentleman in the photo is ordinarily a habitué of Wee Lass' big ass dollhouse (Stepford Mansion, as I think of it), but she was upstairs taking a nap. The dollhouse was put away up against the wall, and Furball 1 and Furball 2 were sleeping on the couch, silent as monks.

So anyway, the rules are: Gimme a caption, make me laugh. Simple, no? I'll probably run it until Tuesday or thereabouts, depending on the volume of comment. Remember: past winners are not eligible to win consecutive contests! Unless you make me squirt drink out my nose or wet my pants. In which case, yeah, I'll make an exception. Contest starts: NOW!

SPREADING A LITTLE LOVE

I would be remiss in my manners if I didn't acknowledge some folks who have recently been very kind to me in spreading the Word of Gumbo. Plus, my momma may have raised a knucklehead, but surely not an ingrate; I don't want her to come up here and smack me on the back of head for not returning a compliment! The honor roll tonight:

Wearin' My Heart on My Sleeve: The lovely cw2smom wrote a very flattering post about my blog last week, which floored me. and made me want to ask her out on a date! The more important thing is, her son is a career soldier, a helicopter pilot who has just been deployed another time to Afghanistan. You can imagine that this is a dangerous place to be, and he deserves some props for the demanding and difficult work he is being asked to do. Please stop by her blog and drop some comment luv and some thanks.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher: Want to go to the beach? In Hawaii? Yeah, I thought so. A while back, PHST did me the kindness of critiquing some of my work, pro bono. Today, she also laid some luv on me by recommending Irish Gumbo with some high praise and a link. So if the cold and dreary has got you down, please take a trip to a little slice of heaven, and stop in and say hi. The pictures alone are worth it, but the other stuff is cool, too.

The Goat and Tater: No, this is not a blog for foodies with oddly specific tastes. What it is, is a source for some the trippiest, attention-grabbing posts I have had the pleasure of reading as of late. cIII is also a Purveyor of Fine Phrases ("stained glass eyes", for example) that I wish I had thought of first. Mmm, mmm, that's good eatin'! He too has done me the honor of high praise and a link. I am pleased to have made his acquaintance, and I think you will be as well. Pop the clutch and swing by the Goat and Tater, you'll be glad you did.

And that is a wrap, people! 'In the can' as they say in the biz.

Sunday Contest: Caption That Stupid Picture, Second Edition - Golden Wiener Award

WHOOOOOOAAAHHHH!

Well, well, WELL, what have we here? Yessiree, can it be? Is it? It has to be!

Ladies and gentlemen and those in between, the Second Edition of the Irish Gumbo “Caption That Stupid Picture” contest has a winner! Or is that winners?

But before I get to that, I’d like to take a moment to bring your attention to the beverage service here on Air Gumbo. It’s right there on the left side of the page. Feel free to indulge, but be warned, Air Gumbo flight attendants don’t take no mess when it comes to inebriated oafish behavior. So please, drink responsibly. They are armed and can be dangerous.

On to the official announcement! Note: Links are in blue.

There was a really good turnout this time! Quite a few laugh-out-louders this go round. Wee Lass kept asking me what was so funny. I kept directing her attention to the panda video on the Henry the Dog Diaries. Quite funny and a splendid diversion. With all the quality, it was a tad difficult to pick a clear favorite. However, in a flash of Guinness-inspired genius, things came together! The winning quotes (and I do mean quotes) make a pretty bit of giggleicious (non)sense when combined:

"I don't want,

Anybody else,

When I think about you I....
Uh…oh holy crap…uh…you’re, uh, home early….”

HA! Boy, we all know what that feels like don’t we? HaHaHa, ha….(crickets)

Not that I do. People talk you hear things. It made me laugh a lot when I strung them together. It made me think of something like that ‘Dancing Dad’ Armstrong flooring commercial that came out earlier this year. Funny stuff!

The first part of that is from Michelle at Michelle’s Blog, and the second part is from Braja at Lost and Found In India. So let’s have a big round of applause and a couple of ‘whut-whuts’ for the joint winners of the Golden Wiener award! (Winners, look below the free beer for your award.) Please visit them and petition them for some attention, now that they are like rock stars and all.

Special note to Braja: Irish Gumbo humbly apologizes for the tardiness in posting the winners. He knows better than to keep a lady waiting! (his mom raised him so).

And a special thanks to all who played in this edition of Stupid Photo Contest. Let’s all spread the joy to:

Captain Dumbass at Us and Them
Jen at Sprite’s Keeper
Sweet Cheeks at Sweet Cheeks has an idea…
Henry at Henry the Dog Diaries (good dog!)
Christina at Text Imps
Mama Dawg at Two Dogs Running (like the stoner concept!)
IB at Idiot’s Stew
Sarah at Sarah’s Blogtastic Adventures
Krystal at Mommy’s Escape 6.0
Ashley at Hunt and Beck
Charmaine at Middle Aged Dating (wish her luck with Bachelor #1)
Comedy Goddess at You Have to be a Comedy Goddess to Endure
Jan at Jan’s Sushi Bar (yumm…)
SSP at Smarty Pants Rants
Rawan at It’s All Good (give that lady a napkin!)
Miz blo at I Went Looking For Trouble

And a special shout out to Rebekah at Waffles Waffles All Day Long. Her ship has hit a patch of rough seas as of late, so if you haven’t already done so, drop by and drop some luv. Good vibes for you Rebekah – If I haven’t said it already, thank you for your help on the resume!

Last call, folks! Drink up!

SUNDAY CONTEST: CAPTION THAT STUPID PICTURE, SECOND EDITION

Okay, okay, time to lighten things up a bit. Plus, I need a break! My keyboard has been on fire lately, thought I’d slow it down some.

Tonight, it’s time for another “Irish Gumbo Stupid Picture” contest. This one promises to be even better than the first one. This pic is kind of enigmatic. Behold:

Discuss, people! Make it good, make it interesting, make me (and everyone else) laugh! Contest starts now, I’ll probably let it run to Wednesday or longer, depending on input.

GO!

POSTSCRIPT:

I have to take a moment here to thank Captain Dumbass at Us and Them for some HIGH PRAISE indeed, regarding my endeavors on this big pot o' gumbo. I have to say, it put a lump in my throat, and left me speechless. And that is very hard to do! For a knucklehead like me who fancies himself a wordsmith, his post was the equivalent of an Olympic gold medal. I am grateful and humbled. Please go check him out! You'll not be disappointed!

Testimony such his deserves a response, not to mention I think I am congenitally incapable of saying something about this. I am travelling, visiting with family, and on a borrowed computer with a dial-up connection, so my time is limited now. I'll have more to say a bit later.

Right now, the short answer is: Thank you, Captain, and thank you all for visiting with me! Slainte!

Sunday Contest: Somebody Gimme A Caption

Well, here it is, another fine Sunday winding down. I have a bunch of post and story ideas in the queue. Some of them seem quite promising, but right now I don't have the brain power to parse them out. The Wee Lass has been quite...difficult (as an understatement) since December started, and today/tonight she was in fine form. Top of her game if her goal was to be whiny and REALLY annoying. We have explained to her numerous times the basic equation of the Christmas season as it relates to gifts. It looks something like this:

Santa watches = 1

Behavior = y, where y is a floating number discretional to Mom & Dad

Rakin' In The Loot = L

Wee Lass presents = WL:)!

So, WL:)!: 1y= L

However, she is just barely past four years old. She doesn't understand the idea of negative numbers yet; our efforts to get her to see the relationship between a full-blown whiny-ass snit over not getting to watch Diego and his @#!*ing rescue pack and the decline in potential gains has yet to bear fruit.

Please pardon me for the lack of ingenuity. However, something did come to mind. I was perusing some of my digital pics tonight with the intent of organizing them. Instead, I ended up just scrolling through them with the picture viewer, having a few giggles, and there was this:

Funny, no? Or maybe its just strange and stoopit. Anyway, tonight I announce the very first Irish Gumbo "Caption That Picture" contest. Send me your best (or worst) shot at a funny caption that best explains the picture. Contest will be open until, oh, say next Tuesday. Unless I change my mind. First prize will be a hearty laugh and an award to be determined (I don't have PhotoShop on my laptop, this could be tricky).

Contest starts...NOW! Make me laugh! Good luck!