18 January 2009

Sunday Contest: Caption That Stupid Picture, Third Edition

Whoo. I need the pause that refreshes, being that I am all tuckered out. I have been running pretty hard and fast as of late. Which I am wont to do when the ol' Gumbo brain gets overheated and Full Of Ideas (rather than what it usually seems to be full of; no comment from the peanut gallery, thank ye verra much!), the ferment of creativity tends to kick me into overdrive. Gets me all lathered up, like, and it wears me out. To borrow from the world of computer software/hardware (because I'm all about the tech stuff) design, I suffer from a "Buffer Overflow" problem, in which the Buffer (i.e. my brain) gets all Overflowing (i.e. too much crap trying to get through a too small space at the same time), thereupon inducing blank stares, occasional drooling and an overwhelming desire to run to Rio and just sit on the beach staring at all the lovelies in the multi-colored butt-floss outfits. Butt-floss tends to get me relaxed (well, most of me is relaxed, anyway) and calm. Finds my 'center', don't you know.

Not being possessed of excess cash or time, I settled on the next best thing: I decided to slow it down, kick it down a notch, chill. Give the grey matter some time to cool off. think of it as a mini-vacation for the neurons. Synapses are on double overtime, though, they have some extra shifts to pull. Anyway, with that in mind, I present to you, 'Tercera edición' of the Irish Gumbo Stupid Photo Contest. This is today's stupid photo:

This was in the middle of my living room floor this afternoon, I have no idea how it got there. The gentleman in the photo is ordinarily a habitué of Wee Lass' big ass dollhouse (Stepford Mansion, as I think of it), but she was upstairs taking a nap. The dollhouse was put away up against the wall, and Furball 1 and Furball 2 were sleeping on the couch, silent as monks.
So anyway, the rules are: Gimme a caption, make me laugh. Simple, no? I'll probably run it until Tuesday or thereabouts, depending on the volume of comment. Remember: past winners are not eligible to win consecutive contests! Unless you make me squirt drink out my nose or wet my pants. In which case, yeah, I'll make an exception. Contest starts: NOW!

SPREADING A LITTLE LOVE

I would be remiss in my manners if I didn't acknowledge some folks who have recently been very kind to me in spreading the Word of Gumbo. Plus, my momma may have raised a knucklehead, but surely not an ingrate; I don't want her to come up here and smack me on the back of head for not returning a compliment! The honor roll tonight:

Wearin' My Heart on My Sleeve: The lovely cw2smom wrote a very flattering post about my blog last week, which floored me. and made me want to ask her out on a date! The more important thing is, her son is a career soldier, a helicopter pilot who has just been deployed another time to Afghanistan. You can imagine that this is a dangerous place to be, and he deserves some props for the demanding and difficult work he is being asked to do. Please stop by her blog and drop some comment luv and some thanks.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher: Want to go to the beach? In Hawaii? Yeah, I thought so. A while back, PHST did me the kindness of critiquing some of my work, pro bono. Today, she also laid some luv on me by recommending Irish Gumbo with some high praise and a link. So if the cold and dreary has got you down, please take a trip to a little slice of heaven, and stop in and say hi. The pictures alone are worth it, but the other stuff is cool, too.

The Goat and Tater: No, this is not a blog for foodies with oddly specific tastes. What it is, is a source for some the trippiest, attention-grabbing posts I have had the pleasure of reading as of late. cIII is also a Purveyor of Fine Phrases ("stained glass eyes", for example) that I wish I had thought of first. Mmm, mmm, that's good eatin'! He too has done me the honor of high praise and a link. I am pleased to have made his acquaintance, and I think you will be as well. Pop the clutch and swing by the Goat and Tater, you'll be glad you did.

And that is a wrap, people! 'In the can' as they say in the biz.

47 comments:

  1. Thank God I'm still alive...and I don't have plumber's butt...

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  2. Caption:

    Ah shit! I hate when that happens!

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  3. Hi there,

    Found you via Casey at Half As Good As You. I can't resist taking part in your caption contest. I love these things! So here it is:

    "Um, excuse me...is it just me or is my ass where my twig and berries should be? It's strange, but I'm surprisingly comfortable..."

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  4. Oh that reminds me so much that I need to do an "I Get By With a Little Help from my Friends" post...oh and that toy? Sick, man. Perfect :)

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  5. Ooooh, I hate that!

    When I see someone write something so clever I wish I had thought of it first! It makes me want to smash my keyboard like Hulk Hogan and a throw a stack of pens like ninja stars at the wall. And then give up writing altogether! *sob*

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  6. Rump Ranger says, "I always keep my eyes open during sex!"

    Sorry. Rump Ranger was speaking through me. It was a paranormal kind of thing!

    Malisa

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  7. I can't help myself...
    "The lengths a man will go to avoid munching a rug..."

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  8. "Daddy, have you seen my little doll guy anywhere"?

    i wish i could write like you do. simply fun to read. thank you and keep 'em coming.

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  9. Caption:

    Marty Finklestein's 10:00 a.m. "Yoga for Beginners" class is a crock of Shit.

    or.....

    Never try and toss your own Salad. You just don't bend that way. Try Marty Finklestein's 10:00 a.m. "Yoga for Beginners" class. You might become flexible enough to blow yourself.

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  10. "No, really officer, the last thing I remember was Barbie left, the bartender bought me a few rounds and I woke up here!"
    - or -
    "I'm so lost I don't know my ass from my elbow."

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  11. "That fucking Braja...how she does this shit, I'll never understand. I think she might have said "Stand on your head", not rotate your head. Now I've fallen and I can't get up."

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  12. Michelle wins in my eyes.

    "Yep, sorry, I still don't smell it."

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  13. Wah! I can't see the picture... I don't know why. *pout*

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  14. I don't know about a caption, but that's about how I felt when I woke up this morning. Except the ass in the air bit. Homey don't play dat.

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  15. "That's a new position honey?! Ummm tell me again where you learned it?"

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  16. "And suddenly Linda Blair didn't seem quite so scary".

    Hugs
    Anna xxx

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  17. Irish dude, I had more comments from first timers today than I usually get in a week. wondered how I came to be so blessed. Now I know. Quite the linky love you got going on over here. Thank-you very muchly. I don't usually have the words fuck and cunt all over the place like that, but most seemed OK with it.

    Scholastic Scribe had a caption thing today too. Fun stuff.

    Caption = "Daarth Vaaaader. I am your brother, lover, sodomator."

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  18. I'm lookin backwards for Christmas.
    Or you mightn't have that old song over there?
    June in Oz

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  19. Mom, has the exorcist got here yet?
    GI Joe is looking at me funny.

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  20. I was going to say "Bummer" but mum says nobody can come close to Michelle - she gets our vote:)

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  21. You are Irish! You should know better than to ask me to be funny in the morning.

    Maybe the caption should be like a warning sign: Don't mess with Bella before she's had her first cup of coffee!

    Go back to the first paragraph. Told ya so.

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  22. Hey? Who's back there? --The Invisible Man strikes again.

    I vote for Michelle's caption, too. I have 2 kids awake now because I laughed so freakin' loud.

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  23. "Thanks for being gentle with me babe.... now how about some of the rough stuff? Heh heh?!"


    It's first thing in the morning here in the U.K. Might have another go later on when I've woke up properly! :O)

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  24. "What - you only want me to look you in the eyes during missionary? Women!"

    But yeah, Michelle totally wins. That was brilliant.

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  25. I NEVER should have told her she had a fat ass.....

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  26. 'Honey - you said you wanted the truth when you asked if your ass looked big in that dress!'

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  27. "Shit...it's true. My ASS does look huge in these tan cords. Stupid salesgirl at Old Navy lied to me."

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  28. "Darn it. I hate when I sleep funny and wake up with a kink in my neck."

    The little dude reminds me of the guy with glasses in Ghost Busters for some reason. And now that song is stuck in my head...

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  29. I was going to go with:-

    "The range of children's Exorcist figures were never the big seller Mattel had hoped."

    but Anna Russell kind of thematically beat me to the whole Exorcist thing and it looks a bit like I'm copying. Dagnabbit!

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  30. 'Don't look down,' they said. Thanks for the help. Bastards!

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  31. WTF?? I don't know if I'm coming or going!!



    p.s. I'm a first time visitor and no....this last part is not my caption.

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  32. Mental note to self: "Never take a lap dance from Barbie again."

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  33. I just knew when I saw that picture that this was gonna be a post about The Man breaking it off in your ass.

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  34. Jimmy thought rock climbing would be easy until he ended up on a sheer cliff and broke his neck. Bummer Jimmy, bummer.

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  35. My head is fine. It's my body that's not screwed on straight.
    or
    My ass looks so good in these jeans that even I can't help but stare.
    or
    Literal Bob watches his back

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  36. "Okay, so maybe in hindsight, ordering the QUICK-SPIN office chair was a mistake........hope someone gets back from lunch soon..........hey,look,there's gum under my desk!"

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  37. i CAN'T beat any of these, they are hilarious...

    first time here - found ya via Text IMPS

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  38. Arsene Wenger's newest signing had heard of his Manager's reputation.....

    (Of course, being a gooner you won't see the funny side quite as much as a Spurs fan would ;-) )

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  39. Oh gosh IG! You didn't need to do that, but I am humbled and honored for the link! You are a great guy and if you weren't married...I'd take you up on that date..unemployed or not! Hugs, Lisa/CW2sMom

    Word Verification: modiss
    definition: contraction for more of this! "I want modiss, please!"

    LOL!

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  40. You think I look bad? You should see the other guy.

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  41. Tell the censors that it was NOT full frontal nudity! Get my agent on the phone! YES I have pants on now!!!

    Word verification: bumroc - good name for a band if you had three more like this bloke.

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  42. I'm not falling for that "drop the soap" trick again, oh hell no.

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  43. I loved this post and think your log is great!

    Though liked CIII's comment... I think it should be "Small man with head on ass-backwad"

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  44. "You're not wearing THAT to dinner, are you Honey? It makes your ass look backwards!"

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  45. Around this house my daughter would call that "pooping daddy". Any man or woman in the sitting position is either a pooping daddy or pooping mommy. That doll is a pooping daddy as surely as the Picasso Blue Nude print in our bedroom is called pooping mommy.

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"Let your laws come undone
Don't suffer your crimes
Let the love in your heart take control..."


-'The Hair Song', by Black Mountain

Tell me what is in your heart...