06 January 2009

She Blinded Me With (Pseudo) Science

Is anyone watching Fringe? I am. (Crude and Feckless, I hope you are. I am looking forward to your synopsis!). I started out watching it because, well, because I was too damn lazy to watch anything else. 200+ channels and a remote! I sit there slack jawed because I can’t trouble myself to get the remote. Sigh. This perhaps will explain what comes later.

The show itself is pretty good, if a bit overwrought at times. Anyone who liked ‘The X-Files’ (or The Twilight Zone, for that matter) or likes bizarre conspiracy type drama will probably like Fringe. And it does not hurt that the mahvelous Anna Torv is in the lead role of Olivia Dunham. The overall weirdness is appealing, and the paranoid conspiracy theories are fun to try and string together. It can also be a bit gross at times (episode 6 as an example), but one of the things that makes it worth watching is the inappropriate and funny verbal outbursts of the mad scientist character, Dr. Walter Bishop:

Riding in car with his son and Olivia:
“Aahhh!”
“Walter, what’s wrong?”
“I’ve just pissed myself!”

In a diner, scene of a horrific event involving exploding heads. Sees bowl of onion soup on counter in the midst of brains and blood:
“Can we get a sample of that? That looks delicious!”

My favorite so far is in the premiere episode, where Walter has recently been released from a mental hospital after a seventeen-year stay. There is a lot he has missed out on, including the wondrousness that is SpongeBob Squarepants. In the scene, he is sitting on a couch, eating a bowl of cereal and watching an episode of SpongeBob. He has been asking Agent Dunham and his own son questions about the show. He cocks an eyebrow:

“You say this is for children? It’s really quite profound!”

Just how profound I would find out some weeks later while taking Wee Lass to day care. She tends to be pretty chatty most mornings, as we walk to the car and as we drive to the day care center. She talks about anything and everything, and least, anything and everything that is within her field of vision. Example:

“DaddylookIseeadogDidyouseeadogAwwwhatacutedoggiewearingacoat.
Look.TheresanotherdoggyDaddytheeresurealotofdoggiesoutthismorning.
WhyisthatladywalkingherdogOoohDaddyBirds!Birds!Birds!
IsitcoldDaddy?IsitcolduntilspringWhenisthespringcomeDaddy?
Isitwhenwinterisover?Wheniswinterend?ValentinesDayismyfavoriteholiday?
DaddytheresureisalotoftrafficWatchout!HeyIsawasquirreldidyouseethesquirrel?
DaddyDossquirrelscomeoutinthespringAretheysleeping---“

Finally, I sense an opening. “Yes, Abby, they are sleeping. Do you know what that’s called, when the bears and squirrels go to sleep for the winter? It’s called hibernation.”

“Hibernation! Daddy, just like Sandy Squirrel, on SpongeBob!”

I knew that would pay off someday. Now, we can watch all the SpongeBob we want. It’s educational!

And for you metalheads out there, let’s thrash to “Pre-Hibernation Week”. Enjoy!

25 comments:

  1. I haven't seen an episode of Fringe. From the commercials, it seemed like a show I wouldn't enjoy (not into x-files) But now that I've been informed of the "inappropriate and funny verbal outbursts" I might just have to watch it.

    I love that Wee Lass talks like my children. Sometimes I'm surprised when they don't pass out from lack of oxygen.

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  2. "Good heavens, Ms. Sakimoto, you're beautiful!"
    Oh, wait. That was your comment on MY blog. Dammit. Clearly I need to be more creative.
    So, did you download it to your iPod? What does one do with all the stuff on vinyl anyway? Record to digital and then transfer? Or say screw it and buy it from iTunes?
    I miss the days when things weren't so fricking complicated. Okay, now I sound like an old hag. I should give up while I'm somewhat ahead. And by somewhat I really mean not at all.

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  3. omg i have the same conversation every morning waiting for the school bus! if you can even call it that, since i can't get a word in!

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  4. My kids still talk like that and they're all teens!

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  5. When I read your daughter's soliloquy I was reminded of the (not so) old Volvo commercial where the dad is buckling the little girl in the back seat and she is just going on and on and on....

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  6. Top 10!!!

    That SpongeBob video totally roXXors!

    I haven't seen Fringe, but I'm going to cue it up on my DVR. My wife and I were X-Filers (until the last movie), so I think we'd both like it.

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  7. Chris: It hasn’t always been easy to watch, but the outbursts have been keeping e coming back for me. And lawd help me, there have been times where I wish she would pass out, just to give us some PEACE :)

    Robin 1: Sadly, the remains of my vinyl collection sit in a milk crate behind my TV. The Thomas Dolby I reacquired on a collection called “Hyperactive” on CD. Now that I have iTunes (sigh) it looks like I’ll be buying from them. It’s just so convenient .

    Diane: It is rare that Wee Lass doesn’t do that on the way. I say “Uh, huh” and “Yep” a lot! And encourage her to take a breath!

    24@Heart: They get easily distracted by dogs, squirrels and shiny things? :)

    Robin 2: Rats. And that little girl probably got paid for it!

    It’s All Good: We are all disciples of the ‘Bob. Help us. Please…HELP US!

    GF: Party on, bro! (two fingered horn sign in air). I was blown away when I found out the music was by PANTERA! Someone on the production staff is cool…and maybe a little angry!

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  8. I love spongebob .. we just saw that episode yesterday, or the day before, or today .. or all three, i don't remember. Spongebob is usually on here, or iCarly -- and my kid is almost 11. She still talks like the Wee Lass too, but she throws real bombshells into the conversation now, with alarming frequency .. without even a smooth segue, or any segue at all, like: Hey mom, how do the mom's eggs get fertilized? (nearly choked to death on a pork chop when she sprung that on me at 8 years old) .. or (at about 659 decibels) "Hey mom, what's F*** mean?" when we're in the middle of Walmart.

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  9. I haven't seen Fringe but Spongebob is like a religion around here. It's a little known fact that every ounce of higher learning can be traced back to Spongebob...did you know that?

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  10. Spongebob used to annoy me, UNTIL, I found out that a recent writer on that show is a gentleman by the name of Steven Banks.

    Who did this little show which I watched when I was a teen:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62EePXzshX8

    Split your pants funny then and now. That's only the first part, follow the links on YouTube for more genius entertainment. Then watch Spongebob some more.

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  11. I haven't seen Fringe OR Spongebob. We recently had to go cold turkey on TV in the house so I'm not sure I'll be seeing them anytime soon. Although if they're educational.....

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  12. Dr. Bishop totally makes that show. I was getting a little worries after the first 5 or 6 episodes that they were going to tie every bizarre event back to his past work, thankfully they started coming up with stuff that he didn't work on.

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  13. Irish Gumbo,
    If ever in NYC
    papaya king is tastier, only because they are a king like me AND they have chili !!. gray's papaya is cheaper, but still very good. then again, we're talking hot dogs here. they're both cheap. you might want to spring an extra couple bucks to try both and reach your own conclusion. in total you might spend $5 total, best bang for your buck in the city !!

    AND SPONGEBOB , That dude ROCKS !!

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  14. It's posts like this that make me wonder if I shouldn't use my television for things other than watching DVDs and playing Animal Crossing...

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  15. The Hibernation Episode of Spongebob is one of my favorites. It is as funny as the Bugs Bunny episode "I demand that you shoot me Now!" {sorry forgot actual name of episode but that should ring a bell. I am also rather fond of the bubble gum sculpture episode where Patrick's giant Bubble Gumm-y whispers menacingly with a pair of tighty Whities to Spongebob, "You're not Patrick!."

    I mean it was a "I will let you pet Mr Whisker's," moment. Now I will have to go look for Fringe. I have never seen it. If you like that sort of thing, check out The Fortean Times.

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  16. I have no idea what you just said. I still like you. I just don't know what you said.

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  17. I don't have cable and only get NBC and CBS, so no Fringe for me.

    I adore Spongebob. Glad to find out it's educational after all. Now I don't have to feel guilty for watching it....I mean letting my daughter watch it.

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  18. My husband watches more spongebob than the girls do. It is quite funny cause he doesn't even try to hide it anymore.

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  19. Just don't get mixed up and start showing her Aqua Teen Hunger Force. No, I take that back. Please do, then report back.

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  20. We do the fringe, too, although I am not really into the Sci-Fi thing. I am into Dawson's Creek however, I admit it, my name is Ashley and I watched Dawson's creel. I also thought Pacy was sexy, so I do not mind seeing him in Fringe. Also, Walter is priceless, but importantly as well, the other characters are decently written. Worth checking out. At least when slack-jawed and lazy.

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  21. SpongeBob is soo cool! I also need to make a correction before they come and take my punk girl card away from me. Too Drunk To F**k was a Dead Kennedys song not Sex Pistols! I seriously have been up all night hoping you didnt catch that error! ; ) (yeah I need a life)

    I have 4 kids talking to me like that daily and they all seem to stop at the same time and want a response from me. I usually just distract them with singing really loud...: )

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  22. Hey come on over and check out my new blog endeavor -
    humanus augmentis It is a new blog for tech-gadget fans and the like... and as always.. see you back over at
    con·tin·u·um. Thanks for following :)

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  23. heya thar!!! I love fringe ... been watching it from the beginning. :) Have a good one

    Oh ... and I brought a pot of stew too!!!

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  24. Spongebob is awesome! I love when spongebob went to visit Sandy for the first time and he didn't have the water helmet. Hilarious!

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