10 January 2010

What Up, J-Money?

 "Dude, don't harsh my mellow..."

The bearded chap pictured above showed up in the Gumbo mailbox earlier this week.  He arrived in a thickish packet along with a few other pages of printed material. Now, me and JC, we ain't exactly best buds, but neither do I have a quarrel with him. Most often when I receive this sort of junk mail, I skim it to the extent that I can identify that it is indeed junk, and I then toss it. I've always had a weird curiosity about religious artwork of all types, and I was bored and a little intrigued, so I kept it to read while eating dinner.

It offered me some insight, but left me scratching my head. The first page, photo below, actually warmed my heart. I was able to set aside some of my usual cynicism, and take the passages for simple, heartfelt statements that, in truth, have some relevance to my current life situation. Read on:

Not bad. Not overbearing, none of that in-yer-face, fire and brimstone, goin-to-hell type stuff that really turns me off. I don't need someone telling me I'm a sinner; I already know that. So it was nice to read something that basically says, "It's going to be alright, I'm here with you." Though it was taken from the Bible, it reads as if it could have come out of any major faith. I thought that was pretty cool. The header on the next page said the following:

I suppose it is, isn't it? Very nice, I thought. Munching on my red beans and rice burrito, I turned to the next page. And wouldn't you know it:

And here I was scrambling around looking for a financial planner I could trust, when all I really needed was the red patent leather Bible I received on my confirmation day. It's right there on the shelf...

To drive the point home, naturally, they kindly provided some examples, just so you know its genuine...I love that the second to last number is so oddly specific:

32 cents, 'cause the good Lord is all about balancing the books.

Even though I have what seems to be a low success rate when it comes to prayers, I don't begrudge nor do I discourage others from praying however they want for whatever they want. 

But why, why, why does it always seem to end up being about money? I'm happy that some folks who seemed in need got what they needed, but...why not...peace of mind?



"Hey, J.C.! What's up?" Wait, it's just Cheech Marin...

 Jesus: "Give that back, you big meanie!"
Satan: "Neener, neener, neener!"


We are soooooo busted...


  1. LOL - I loved this post, so very true...Mind you, I hope God balances my books too ;0)

  2. Lol! The last picture and the bit about being busted really made me smile. That's funny.

    I'm not a Christian, but believe in the power of the universe to supply our needs. We always get by but we're not well-off.... maybe I need to raise my expectations. :O)

  3. makes me so sad that humans perform deeds such as this in the name of God.

  4. You're the second person to have blogged about this. I feel left out.

  5. More than anything, I am indifferent to religion. It isn't a popular school of thought in the deep south (think Bible belt) so I usually just keep my trap shut. Plus, I'm pretty certain that I'd be fired if I didn't believe in God, etc. People in the south are just that rabid about faith.

  6. It's like getting a really wonderful email from someone, and you don't realize until the end that it's spoiled by "if you don't send this to 10 people, you'll go to hell!"

  7. Somewhere along the line, I have been erased from the myriad mailing lists that provide you, and so many others, with such hope and laughter. I believe the symbols etched in my driveway by the last Jehovah's Witness who came to my door has been the reason that I do not receive regular visits by those who would save my immortal (or is that immoral?) soul.

    So, where can I find biblical advice on which horse to bet on in the next Run for the Roses?

  8. Sadly I don't get many of these wonderful letters. They must have figured out it was a lost cause. But if they are listening I could use some money for some new shoes...

    The J Man and I have a serious love/don't know if I believe thing going on. I feel better when I do believe and try and read and learn. But other days I tend to think who believes in this stuff?

    There's something out there. I just don't know what it is.

  9. Power to get wealth? I'll have to read Deuteronomy.

  10. This got me laughing Irish!
    Charlatans the lot of them! Which reminds me...

    What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovahs Witness?.... Someone who knocks at your door for no apparent reason!

    Awww, come on!!

  11. ...for the love of all things holy, accept jaysus into your life, but make sure he brings his own spirit. Mine is for me alone and I don't like sharing.

  12. Don't you just find it all fascinating? That people really fall for this stuff? I don't know whether to laugh at the idiocy or be saddened by the desperation.

  13. You're a nutcase :)))))

    Wait....will God smote me if I lol at J-Money jokes???

  14. It is only about money for a few. It has not been about money my whole career, obviously because I'm a scientist and not a corporate dude. I have found that religion can be twisted in so many ways but real spirituality is usually not.


"Let your laws come undone
Don't suffer your crimes
Let the love in your heart take control..."

-'The Hair Song', by Black Mountain

Tell me what is in your heart...