27 October 2010

I Got Stones In My Passway...Medical Adventures Redux

"...And my road seem dark as night
I got stones in my passway
And my road seem dark as night
I have pains in my heart
They have taken my appetite..."


So sangeth the blues master Robert Johnson, those many years ago.  I don't know if the Master was singing about kidney stones.  If he had been, it probably wouldn't have been his heart where he was lamenting the pains.

Speaking of pains, I  can say that today was a much better day, stone-wise.  I was mobile all day, did not have to resort to any of the painkillers I was prescribed.  I had a few twinges, but none of that eye-watering, curling-into-a-ball, "I am the King of Pain" nastiness that I experienced on Monday.  So far, so good, moving with the flow so to speak.

I forgot to tell you, dear readers, of what was quite possibly the funniest (unintentionally so) thing I heard during my visit to the ER day spa.  At one point I had two docs examining me, after I had been hit with the first round of IV painkillers.  I was sleepy and disoriented as the lady doc was asking me questions, did it hurt here, hurt there, I'm going to touch your belly...I mumbled my understanding and assent, and then she said, in what seemed an unusually loud voice:

"I"M GOING TO TOUCH YOUR TESTICLES NOW."  The room got very quiet. 

Yes, ma'am, don't let me keep you from your appointed duty...

I was too dopey to laugh...out loud, at least.  Fortunately, the other stones were pain-free.

8 comments:

  1. When a woman, physician or otherwise, tells you she's about to touch your testicles it's probably best to keep the laughter to yourself.

    Stones and a hernia? Ouch.

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  2. Well. Um. Yeah. Kidneys...testicles. Yeah. They probably always check the testicles when someone has a kidney stone, right? :)
    Ha!

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  3. First, get well soon. My best friend has kidney stones and god knows she suffers. I do hope this gets over soon...

    As for the female doctor... I didn't know testicle checking was part of kidney stone examination... hmmm...

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  4. You must write a poem using that line. Really. I have heard about the terror of kidney stones and I hope you feel better soon. No coffee and lots of water. ****cyber hug****

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  5. I love playing Seeing Eye sex!

    seriously, I hope you are feeling better
    Stones In My Passway...you slay me.

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  6. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha! I am just cutting up over this. Sorry about your ER trip, but the testicles crack was so worth it!

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  7. so you just got groped huh? and you didn't even have to go to the airport, you lucky dog! So sorry for the pain (i have a friend who gets them regularly....she has a punch card - I think her 5th lithotripsy will be on the house....) See, just another reason why I don't have looooong urethra envy!

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  8. who knew that kidney stones could lodge in your very own stones, so to speak. Ah, the indignity of medical care!

    Hope you pass those suckers sooner rather than later and that your pain is managed. My dad had these, and had to pee through a strainer for days to verify the passage. Oy.

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"Let your laws come undone
Don't suffer your crimes
Let the love in your heart take control..."


-'The Hair Song', by Black Mountain

Tell me what is in your heart...