That Boy Sure Has Some Stones, He Does

Come with me now, on a brief journey into the world of modern medicine...

Let me state categorically and for the record the following:

1) Kidney stones totally suck.  Really.  The pain?  Is all the bad things you've heard about it.
2) Modern medicine may be considered terribly complex and overly expensive by some, but there are things it does very well.  Pain relief is one of those things.

At 7:00 am Monday morning, I was on the road and near to whistling while I worked.

At 7:15 am, I was clutching at my side and wondering who had left the flaming pair of vise grips attached to what I assumed was my appendix.  After I stopped by to see my Wee Lass, I decided it might be best to go home, lay down and wait for it to go away.

Ha.ha.ha.  It didn't.

I did my best Toughest Man in the World impression.  Which lasted all of about 45 minutes.  So it was I found myself calling for the paramedics, because I was truly concerned that I would not be able to safely drive myself to the emergency room. 

Lucky for me, the closest fire and rescue station to my house is less than a mile away.  I heard the truck leave the station, so I was ready and waiting when they parked in front of my house.  They let me sit on the back of the truck while they were waiting for the ambulance to arrive (it was at a station a little further out).

As an aside, may I say how cool it was to sit on a fire truck?  I guess I've always wanted to do that, ever since I was a kid.

Anyway, the ambo shows up, and for the first time ever in my life, I went for an ambulance ride.  The rig itself is pretty cool, although most folks who see it from that angle probably aren't in a good position to appreciate that.

The paramedic who was in back with me asked if had any nausea, and I did, and she remarked that the bumps in the road weren't helping.  She then grinned and said "Well, just in case, I'll give you this bag.  Sorry about the size, but we don't have any small ones.  But better than nothing!"

She handed me this bright red plastic bag with big biohazard symbols on the side, and warning language about contents and handling.  The thing was about the size of a large shopping bag.  If I hadn't been in such discomfort, I would have laughed out loud.  Still, as she said, better than nothing.

Fortunately I did not have to avail myself of the Le Barf Sac, as we arrived at the hospital without regurgitatory incidents.  I was wheeled into the waiting area, and did not have to wait long before I was in a ER room, hooked up and wired in.  And that's when the miracle of modern painkilling technology became very clear to me.

I don't recall what it was they gave me through the IV shunt, but it worked like a charm.  Did the pain go away completely? No.  But there is a huge difference between unbearable and manageable.  And I learned just what that difference means. 

The end result was that I scored the Daily Double:  the CAT scan I had showed a small hernia AND a kidney stone.  Woot!  Me so lucky!  So that 'splains all the agony.

All in all, much more adventure in my life than I wanted for my Monday.  But I did get a good, long nap.