14 August 2011

Sunday Meditation #1: Mystery And The Man

I am not a religious man, although sometimes I wish I could say that was true.  This tug, this pull that I feel in my heart some days, where I marvel at the beauty of the world and wonder if it really is the grace of God speaking mutely to my soul.  Such wonder!  Such mystery!  And I do not say that lightly.  The skeptic in me that so often rears his suspicious face fights hard with the naive innocent that still exists somewhere in my heart.  But I try.  I try so hard to cast off the jaundice induced by a world that so often seems bent it putting everyone through the fire or on the anvil, to hammer out of us the juices of life.  Were that this not so!  It appears to be, however, and the task for the jaded such as myself, and perhaps the innocents who still believe, is to maintain that sense of wonder that makes the world so fresh and new.

I cannot pretend to be a child any longer.  The number of summers that have passed since I could lay claim to the moniker far outnumbers the summers I actually spent as a child.  The weary adult in me is wistful, perhaps, for that refreshing lack of affection. Or perhaps for the bright, sharp edges of my soul that used to be, now ground down by the grit blown in the winds of time.  It is enough to make one want to run and hide, should one feel overrun by the vagaries of this kaleidoscope trip we call life.

Enough.  Enough of the slightly sour melancholy of the "grown-up".  I have wisdom now, but that does not mean I can no longer enjoy the sound of crickets or the syrupy lassitude of a cat sleeping in a warm spot on the neighbor's porch.  These things had their origins in something mysterious, whether God or the accidents of physics.  Some day I may kneel before an altar and declare myself open to a Creator.  Until then, it is enough to sit in a chair on the porch, breathe the perfumed air of the evening and know that I am whole in the world.


  1. Flowers, cats, sunshine and crickets. Seems to me that, like the rest of us, nature is your great soul-soother. I like to think that it's the "grace of God talking mutely to my soul" too. But who knows. It's enough to be alive and able to enjoy it.

  2. You might not be religious, but you are very much a spiritual man.

  3. in the back of all our heads is a consciousness of spiritual need. It seems in discussion of age and wisdom it would be ironic to argue a point the older man has already considered. so i will leave you be, but just barely. It doesnt have to be all heaven and hell, earth is about living a godly life somewhere in between. there, thats all im saying.

  4. I have much to say here...but for now...I will just agree with TGL.

  5. You don't need religion to experience the divine. You're doing fine.


"Let your laws come undone
Don't suffer your crimes
Let the love in your heart take control..."

-'The Hair Song', by Black Mountain

Tell me what is in your heart...