That Which Fills The Cracks In Our Foundations

August 21st, 2011 3:53 pm

"I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in, and stops my mind from wandering..." sang the Beatles.  In the aftermath of the storms we have been having I need to get on that.  I've rain coming in through the chimney and rain seeping through the walls in the basement and it needs to stop.

But how do I let my mind continue wandering?  It sees the rain coming in and wants to fix it but wants to run, to hide, to not have to deal with disruption yet again.  The disruption never stops, it seems.  Rain makes the flowers grow, but other things grow, too, and if the water freezes in the cracks it will only get worse.  That is, if the damp and the seep don't crumble the foundations first.

I've been inspecting my foundations on a regular basis as of late.  They still hold but there are some cracks to fix and holes to plug.  Problem is, I haven't been able to fight the urge to just pull up a chair and watch the water well up or the cracks widen.  Weariness plays a role, I'm sure.  Sort of like life's version of the old defragmenter screen on some computers I use to use.  You turn the thing on and then sit slackjawed, watching the little boxes blink and shift, not getting any real work done but convincing yourself it is necessary, plus you wouldn't want to miss anything, in those blinking little boxes.

I do know this:  it is time for me to move off center, stop staring at the cracks in the wall and the water seeping through the joints.  I'll have the stem the split, mop up the spill.  Far too often in my past life I've been content to watch the houses slowly slide into the sinkhole, and it is high time that stopped.

It has to.  I have things to do, people to see, and places to go.  Especially home.  I need to go home and fix the leaks, shore up the foundation.  It's around here somewhere, I can feel it, I have touched it...now I have to hold onto it.  This time, I will.