15 October 2011

During Wartime, Rationing Is To Be Expected

It's silly, I know, this tendency of mine to ascribe pragmatic rationalization to what is really dessert.  For fuck's sake, what is wrong with me?  Can one extra cookie really be a sump of guilt?

The problem is that three cookies are enough.  Only three.  Not more, not less.  And those three cookies are to be eaten after dinner.  No exceptions.  To do otherwise is to break the rules (the rules, the rules, goddamn rules) and those who break rules can expect to be shunned.

It was early evening.  The light fades faster this time of year.  Dinner was over, and my sweet tooth was mumbling to me as I wiped down the counters and stove.  I laid the towel on the counter below the cabinets.  Up high, top shelf in the wall cabinet next to the microwave was the box of cookies.  Taking it down, I noticed how light it felt.  Empty or nearly so.  I peeled back the cover.  There were four cookies left.  Four.

Damnation.  My mind reeled.  I felt dizzy.  I wanted dessert.  I couldn't possibly eat four cookies, when three was the rule.  Something broke and I lifted a cookie to my mouth.

It was during the war that I stood in my kitchen and broke the rules.


  1. you can't ever leave only one cookie in the box. they get lonely...

  2. Break that last one into pieces. Then it's not a cookie and, more excitingly, it has no calories. Win!

  3. Oh.my.goodness.
    It's a cookie, not something with Moral Repercussions.
    But now that I think about it, J eats three every night, too.
    Y'all are WEIRD.

  4. does this mean im fat? cuz i marathon cookies by the sleeve.

  5. Oatmeal raisin cookies is (are?) the answer, of course. I eat them, more than once a day. They are healthy, have nutritional value, keep me regular, and go well with my green tea with ginseng and honey after dinner... after which I can nod off watching the idiots protest Wall Street.

  6. Times are tough. And extra cookie is fortifying you against the elements.

  7. Sometimes caution does need to get thrown to the wind....

  8. Sounds like a good time to break that rule :) Extra cookies!


"Let your laws come undone
Don't suffer your crimes
Let the love in your heart take control..."

-'The Hair Song', by Black Mountain

Tell me what is in your heart...