So you may have guessed by now, I haven't felt much like writing lately. A few random bursts here in October, plus some handwritten stuff in my little black notebooks (for me, not thee, at this time) and in a new journal I'm keeping. The streak is over, too, last entry for my More Than A Year Of Daily Writing went up on October 8th. Officially I topped out at 375 straight days of posting. Not sure how I managed that.
But mostly, I haven't felt the ambition to write. Most of the ideas I've had I decide really weren't that blog-worthy, and for the remainder I haven had little energy to pursue them. I have been too tired to return replies, as my poor record with responses to everyone will indicate. It's because of the "cold black space with the glistening edges"* that has broken open my personal space-time continuum: getting laid off, the subsequent job search and the attendant money crisis created thereby.
This particular black space has not taken complete control of my life, but its presence is sucking up a lot of energy and attention. It makes me tired. I have to crank up the personal PR machine, again, start "rebranding" myself again, and it inflicts upon me great vexation.
I know I am capable, and smart, and good at what I do. I'm also tired of having to explain that over and over. It's draining and does no good for my morale. Fighting for balance and security so frequently, well, that is no way to live a life. I am not really a magician, and my hat may be out of rabbits.
The upside is I have people who love me, who care about me and are helping me in ways practical and spiritual. I truly would not be able to sustain myself without their help. I am grateful for the support, emotionally and otherwise. There are other things I am grateful for, too, including the many readers I have here on Irish Gumbo, and I may write a little more about that stuff later.
For now, I'm going to get some rest, and say thanks to all those who believe in me. Thank you.
*Bonus points and a Gumbo high five if you can tell me the song from which that lyric was taken, and the band.