26 December 2008

Merry 'Effin Christmas To You Too, and a Scoop!

Gumbo News Network (Semi-) Exclusive - For some reason, the local newspaper has been really interesting as of late:

Our buddy Mahmoud (henceforth known as ARI) is at it again. Leave it to him to suck the life out of what is ostensibly a time of reflection, peace and goodwill to all:

I know, he is the leader of a nation that is ostensibly majority Islamic, so Christmas shouldn’t be an issue. But, dude (doud?), can’t you just give it a rest, at least for one day? Yeah, yeah, we are infidel dogs, bootlicks of Satan, blah, blah, blah. And to be truly fair, it isn’t just Islamic demagogues that cynically use religion when it suits their purposes; our own current lame duck (for example) isn’t free of the taint on that score. The “Jesus were alive" comment is especially interesting. Not to lob a theological grenade, but what a secular Muslim (or many so-called Christians) such as ARI really know about the mind of Jesus? Too bad ARI didn’t include “belligerent, fascistic theocracies bent on conversion by sword” in the groups Jesus would oppose. And he didn’t finish that sentence with “And then we would kill him as an infidel.” It also seems obvious to me that when ARI refers to leaders who have turned away from religion, what he really means is “that have turned away from MY religion”. Again, not a sentiment exclusive to Islamic leaders, but annoying enough in this context. And the Christmas day timeslot? ARI, if your intent was to diss Christians by spewing this nonsense on Christmas Day, news for you, bro: the Christmas season has already been corrupted by consumerist, corporate culture, unfortunately. You cannot insult Christmas more than it already has been.

Don’t fret, dear readers! I am still optimistic about this matter! I believe that most folks all around the world would like a little peace and goodwill, no matter which version of God/Yhwh/Allah (ad nauseum) they choose to carry in their hearts, and no matter how hard cynical politicians seek to exploit belief for their own grabs at power.

To those of you who laid some eyes on my post of December 24th (link), you already know how I feel about the prevailing pressure to consider accruing/spending to equate with joy/happiness. So it was with some satisfaction that I came upon this little tidbit in the Christmas edition of our local cage liner, written by one of their regular columnists:

Did you see that? “…more spending equals more merriment.”
CAN I GET A WHUT, WHUT!? I was most gratified to see that SOMEONE in the local press was at least thinking about this subject. The article was much longer than that, and was fleshing out the same theme. She took it a little farther than I did, with some good points about how this current economic situation was maybe an indicator that we should all do some soul searching about how much stuff we have, how much stuff we buy, and whether we do all that because as a culture we have lost sight of the things that truly matter. Testimony out there, brothers and sisters!

I was right there with her, but I confess a smidge of jealousy: she gets paid to write about that stuff! Maybe someday, I will, too. For now, though, this feels good.


  1. I agree that spending does equal merriment. I think I'll go spend some more money now, I'm feeling a lull in my merriment.

  2. Happy Day After Christmas!

    I'm working on my resume. Still. Gotta make some money soon. Just sayin'. ;)

  3. Have you submitted any writings to your local newspaper?

  4. Whut whut! A large screen plasm/LCD would sure make me happy.

  5. Casey: Okay, just don't spend too much :)

    GF: I hera ya, bro. (sigh) Gotta keep the cheddar flowin' lovely sos we can eat...

    MD: (!) Doh! Can I tell you again how smart you are? Why didn't I think of that! Don't answer that...

    CD: Large screen plasma/LCD? Hmm...I'll talk to my friends from Joisey, see what I can do, capiche?

  6. Un-freaking-believable. What a lovely sentiment to spread on Christmas, and how very hypocritical as well. *growls*

    I'll stop there.

    Flowin' cheddar sounds nice though.

  7. So I shouldn't "lather, rinse, repeat"?

  8. Sweet post on my blog. Kiss.

    K. Let me give you some perspective.

    I was once a high falutin' girl with a big fat Mercedes. I was in my twenties. I thought that changing the oil was...well, optional.

    I was on the heels of becoming what is termed a "gross polluter".

    Some guy told me about "Andy" who had this teeny tiny dumpy garage.

    I arrived. He rushed out to meet me, "I don't know why but Allah just told me I should help you".

    "Really?" I said. Andy was a Muslim. He had several advanced engineering degrees. After coming to America he could not get a job. Everyone thought he was a terrorist.

    Somehow he passed my car on the smog check thing. It was totally illegal and way after checks had been implimented to make cheating on the test IMPOSSIBLE. Andy did it.

    I'm not sayin this was the right thing to do. But he and I became friends. He was an educated man with two (2) degrees in engineering. When you went to his garage there was always a collection of local college professors hanging out...talking and drinking coffee.

    One day I asked him, "Why did you help me?" He replied, I am a Muslim. The sins of the father will revisit his sons. In helping you, I helped my son.

    (Sorry to go on so...)

  9. Didn't really know what I'd say until I read Charmaine's comment. Then I realized that for half of humanity, things will always work out fine. For the other half? They're probably doomed to hell for their shittiness. As the say here in West Bengal, what to do?

  10. SPS: Yah, that sort of grandstanding is rather grating. (sigh) Would that more leaders around the world just zip it. Oh, I needs chedda' so's i can get my bling.

    C&F: Depends. Just how dirty are you? :)

    Charmaine: Thanks for the smoochies and the perspective! AWESOME! What a beautiful thing!

    EVERYONE: Please read C's story, it'll do your heart good!

  11. I love this post!
    And for the record, your Farsi translation is worth way more in funny than that journalist got paid for her story. (Trust me, I know about such things!)
    PS- Thanks for the follow. About to return the favor!

  12. Ill tempered? Pssht! Arsi Farsi, you offend me!...Bullying-yes, expansionist-yes, ill tempered - goes to far. We shall meet on the field of onion!
    *Throws white glove down*
    May the best rabbbit win.

    (I'm feeling feisty.) :)

  13. Mmmmm - yeah, that type of thing makes mum growl. Mum is very anti all organised religions. Mum reckons that people should be nice to others and do good stuff because it's conducive to good relations between folk & makes the world a nicer place to live, not because there's a big god breathing down their neck. As for your writing, why don't you start sending it to local newspapers? If we find it interesting, then surely others will?

  14. Irish-

    I'm with you brother, no matter what it is you are ranting about. I can't even pronounce the name of that Iranian dude, much less spell it!


  15. Same here, IB.

    On the commercialization of Christmas though.. I heartily agree. It makes me sick to my stomach. I often find myself wondering why the hell non-Christian even celebrate Christmas.. then I remember. I remember what our country has made it. And I throw up a little. ;)

  16. Hm, if spending equals merriment, what constitutes buyer's remorse?

  17. Robin: Thank you! Very pleased you liked it. Love your blog name!

    SC: Indeed! I'll not tolerate being called 'ill-tempered'! :)

    Henry: Your mum is spot on! As to the newspapers: See my response to MD's comment, above. Smart dog, you are!

    IB: I'm still practicing, still can't say it without sounding like I have been drinking...

    CPM: As I have said, I'm not exactly a devout Christian, but it makes me sad seeing the difference between what people say it is supposed to be, and what it actually is. Compazine, anyone?

    SK: A really bad hangover??

  18. Braja:

    I don't know how I missed your comment! My apologies!

    I guess that saying is the Bengali equivalent of New Jersy' "Ah, whattayagonnado?"


"Let your laws come undone
Don't suffer your crimes
Let the love in your heart take control..."

-'The Hair Song', by Black Mountain

Tell me what is in your heart...