I have in my possession a small wooden box that I bought at a specialty gift store many, many moons ago. Originally it was for The Spouse, to hold some small jewelry. Later, she received a much larger jewelry box, and she gave this back to me. At the time I didn't know what to do with it. I am not an 'accessory' kinda guy (besides, the ladies get to wear all the cool sparkly stuff) but I didn't want to put it on a shelf and forget about it. The wood is nice and I liked it:
One night I came home from eating dinner, Chinese food, and I had some of the fortune cookie fortunes in my pocket. I put them in the box, intending to start an art project. Over the years I kept more and more of the fortunes. I jammed packed the box. I never really did start the project, but today I was bored and decided to dump out the fortunes:
There were a lot, as you can see. Some of them are funny, some nonsensical, some are statements yes, but fortunes? I'm not so sure. So here are a few selected fortunes for you
What's Chinese for 'Iditarod'?
Insert, er, put your own naughty punch line here
With all the comment luv I've received lately, it IS like an unusual party. Smooches for all!
I'm free! I'm free!
I must be the most 'next to innocent' person in the Universe!
Oh, man, I hope so. More than anything.
Hard to remember, sometimes, but true.
Merry ChrisHanKwanNukahZaaMas, everyone!
Posts
FIRST!!!!
ReplyDeleteOkay yeah, seems like a cook project and I gotta love the dirty one - unusuakl equipment - hilarious!!1 (not talking about yours, I bet your equipment is just fine and not unusual at all) (Am I digging my foot deeper into my mouth?) (yeah, I think I'll stop now)
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
Is it weird that my captcha word is "fedises" you know like fetishes? yeah, uh huh.
Merry whatisface to you, too!
ReplyDeleteI love your fortunes. I'd totally do some sort of art project with that.
Man, you must eat a lot of Chinese food.
Did you read my comment in your last post about "El Matador"?
dude, I need to get some sleep - it should have been cool, not cook - okay I'm off to stalk someone else!!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah and - SECOND!!!
darn you mama dawg!! you got in my way!!
ReplyDeleteI still heart you though
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Flat out.
ReplyDeleteWhen is the next picture title competition? I'm pretty sure my sister, Briana, is gonna kick my ass.
Merry Christmas. Great post.
perfect post daddy.
ReplyDeletei am completely picking up what you are putting down.
solid.
xoxoxo
banshee
ps. my word verification "sackedis" sounds like a testicular condition. YIPES.
Half my family is part Chinese and I've never seen that many fortunes!
ReplyDeleteHow much fun would it be to make an art project out of those things? Wait, it looks like you sorta did, Gumbo.
ReplyDeleteHappy holidays.
I would be curious if any of those lottery numbers they give you ever hit. Man I would be PISSED!!!
ReplyDeleteKrystal: Yes, my dear, you go get some sleep :) As to the equipment, well, I DO have a nice garden cart and a miter saw and stuff, but what does tha—oh. OH. I get it. Yeah, that nap is sounding good about now…
ReplyDeleteMD: Ni hao! I do eat a lot of Chinese food. In fact I had some for lunch today. And for dinner last week. And the week before that. Kee-rist, that’s a lot. That ‘splains the fortunes. ‘El Matador’: Squeeee! (in a really deep, manly way) I did see it *blush* I responded to that before I saw this. It RAWKKKS! The live version on their album ‘Chau’ is outstanding! If you don’t already have it, get it. Gumbo has spoken!
Charmaine: I’ma have to send that comment to my moms, thank you! The next Stupid Pic competition is coming up soon, I have to find a sufficiently stupid picture. Which, come to think of it, shouldn’t be that hard to do.
MIW: Far out, babe. I grok what your sayin’. Hey, I’m not as scared of banshees as I used to be :). And sackedis? Nothing a little heating pad and some TLC won’t take care of ;)
CD: Ni hao! The Chinese and the Irish are a lot alike. Except for the language. And the food. And being on different continents. And Ireland is an island. And China has a really big wall. But other than that, I have trouble telling them apart!
OAM: I am still thinking about the project, I’m shooting for something museum quality. And happy holidays to you!
PtPR: I keep playin’ ‘em, and they keep playin’ me. Sigh…
thanks for all the 'wise words', IG.. My favorite fortune ever was the one that read: Never believe a fortune cookie.
ReplyDeleteMappy ChrismaHannuKwaanzukkas!
Dude, you eat a lot of Chinese food and now I'm craving it.
ReplyDeleteMum loves the idea of you collecting all those - I like: "the view only changes for the leading dog" - mum's the leading dog in my life - I guess that's why she gets stressy from time to time, she can see what's coming! Hope you have a lovely Christmas - and yes you do have so much to be thankful for. We all do.
ReplyDeletexxxx
mmmmmm Orange Chicken
ReplyDeleteI got one once that said "You are heading for a land of Sunshine" funny part was that I was going to Jordan a few days later, and during he summer it never rains, you don't even see a cloud for months straight!
ReplyDeleteLove the blog...funny. I also collect fortunes...just the funny ones though and I know this sounds soooo "high school", but we always put "in bed" at the end of a fortune...and the one about the equipment...hilarious!
ReplyDelete