13 December 2008

An Intriguing Series Of Random Encounters

A little ‘amuse cerveau’ on this brisk fall Saturday…

RANDOM ENCOUNTER NUMBER 1:
A few days ago, I was over at Waffles Waffles All Day Long, where the lovely Rebekah had an amusing post about Cowboy Kittens. Funny and perhaps a little disturbing (the subject, not the author. I mean, the author is funny, the subject maybe disturbing. Or something like that. Oh, never mind.) This story came to mind while I was in a local outpost of a major bookstore chain, looking for the elusive ‘Page-A-Day Cat Calendar’. The real McCoy, mind you, that says ‘365 Cats’. No wannabe knockoff gifts for my moms, that’s for sure! While I was looking for it, I came across the ‘Bad Cats’ page-a-day calendar. This is the ‘naughty’ cousin of the one I was looking for, with ‘amusing’ and ‘hilarious’ pictures of ‘bad cats’ in action. It comes complete with silly captions. What really made me laugh was the blurb on the back. I had my camera with me so I snapped a quick picture. If it looks blurry it’s because I was giggling and trying to do it quickly so the store staff would not come after ‘the weirdo taking pictures over in Calendars!’:


Cats on toilets. Who knew this was a money-making opportunity?

RANDOM ENCOUNTER NUMBER 2:
This one was a bit nervous making. This afternoon, I had the unenviable task of travelling to my (former) office to gather my remaining personal effects. I was eager to get there and get it over with as quickly as possible. As a consequence I was not minding my speed on I-95 as closely as prudence would dictate. Near my usual exit, there is another ramp discharging cars from the right onto the highway. This afternoon, traffic there was heavy and a line of slow moving cars all bunched together was merging in front of the car that was in front of me. The car ahead of me was slowing down and trying to get over to the left. Impatient as I was, I did not decelerate as I should have when the car in front finally moved over. The next car up had its blinkers on, travelling really slow. I failed to register JUST HOW SLOW IT WAS GOING, and I nearly jammed my foot through the floor stomping on the brakes. For a heart-stopping second I thought I was going to ram right into the car in front of me. Fortunately, just before our bumpers would have collided, they sped up slightly and I slowed down just enough. I also managed to avoid being clobbered by the car behind me. Sucking in a sharp breath, it was then I noticed the sign in the back window if the car I had nearly rear-ended:

FUNERAL

On my way to clear out my former desk, and I nearly crash headlong into a funeral procession. Karma sure has a sick sense of humor.

RANDOM ENCOUNTER NUMBER 3:
It is my custom on Fridays to take my Wee Lass to a local bagel store, for breakfast before I would drop her off at day care, and I would then head off to work. We followed the routine yesterday, even though the day before had been my last at work due to layoff (see posts of 12/10 and 12/12 for illumination). This bagel store has a storefront that faces the parking lot of the shopping center in which it is located. Along the storefront is a high counter with stools, and this has become Wee Lass’ favorite perch while we eat. (For those of you keeping score, Wee Lass was eating a chocolate chip muffin; I had my twofer of a toasted sesame bagel with hummus/toasted salt bagel with lox spread. Mmmm..). Right out in front on the sidewalk is a wrought iron trash can container. Wee Lass was chewing contentedly on the muffin and staring thoughtfully at the trash can. She suddenly cocked an eyebrow, turned to me and said in a serious voice:

“Daddy, trash cans don’t have feet.”

I didn’t quite snort tea out of my nose. I had to agree with her. The trash can did not have feet. Statements like that, though, make me wish I could channel her train of thought.

6 comments:

  1. I had a comment for you, but I was just interrupted by my boys fighting. They have been fighting all day long. ALL DAY LONG. Wifey is working so it's not like I can run away. Would Wee Lass like some company?

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  2. Kapitan Dummarsch:

    Sure, just box 'em up and ship 'em over! Wee Lass could use a diversion, so we can split the shipping costs. Just make sure you put some air holes in the box!

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  3. Dude, glad you were not in an accident with a funeral procession. That would NOT have been funny. Cool that you got some extra time to box up your office, though, I was notified and had to be out the same day :p

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  4. Hmm...lucky you didn't ram that car in front of you. How embarrassing, in a funeral procession?

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  5. Your random encounters sure due have some thought to them - are you sure they are all too random or there is some higher planning involved?

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  6. The blurb about the cat calender made me think of the Barenaked Ladies song 'Another Postcard'. Apparently cats aren't the only ones who can use the toilet...HA!

    'Some chimps in swimsuits, some chimps are swinging from a vine
    Some chimps in jackboots, some chimps that wish they could be mine.
    Starsky and Hutch chimps, a chimp who's sitting on the can
    A pair of Dutch chimps who send their love from Amsterdam.'

    MS

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