I didn't duck fast enough. I couldn't outrun the wolves. What is worse, I wasn't even really aware that the wolves were after me. Or maybe it was cheetahs:
I got the "Do you have a minute, in the conference room?" approach just minutes before lunch today. Double suck for me, I get really cranky when I don't eat on a regular basis. I had to go in there with no food in my stomach. Wait, maybe that was a good thing. Nothing to hurl when I felt that punch in the stomach.
The tidal wave of the recessionary economy finally hit the beach I was standing on, so now I am bobbing around in the rip current. After about 16 years of steady employment, I am now out of work for the first time since the early 1990's.
Not to put too fine of a point on it, this sucks donkeys.
I have been in this position before, but I was younger (a lot younger) and I didn't have a kid and a mortgage. My cushion is a little bigger, but so are the obligations. Of course, I am not telling you all anything you don't already know.
Right now I am not as upset as I thought I would be, oddly enough. Yes, this is awful; the short term disruptions (two weeks before Christmas!) are aggravating as hell. I don't look forward to doing the unemployment office dance. I still have bad memories of that from last time. On the other hand, I am trying to remain positive. Truth be known, the position I was in was not the ideal for me. I was chafing under the management style, and struggling with a lack of adequate resources. I was not the best I could be.
Yes, it paid the bills. And I am sick at heart to lose that means of support. Got to make that dolla, or I'm gonna holla, boyeee! Right?
On the drive home, I was thinking about everything and thinking about nothing, trying to keep the worry off my mind. I realized that this is a "crossroads" moment. I could resign myself to possible months of unemployment while trying to replace my old self with the same thing. Or maybe, just maybe, this is a golden opportunity for REINVENTION. Maybe now is the time to truly find that thing that will combine what I want to do with want I need to do.
I can't say that I was filled with an overwhelming peace, or that I had a true epiphany. No beams of light or angels coming out of the sky. But I did feel more at ease. If ever there was a time for positive change this would be it. In the short term, I'll be looking for another architectin' type job (if anyone needs a freelance designer, I'm your man!), but in the long term? Hmm. Perhaps its time to learn to make a different kind of gumbo.
Wish me luck, and peace to all!