20 February 2010

From The STFU Files: Tiger Woods Edition

Alright, folks, time for a short rant:

Tiger Woods doesn't need to apologize to his 'fans'. He doesn't need to call a press conference to tell the world that not keeping his dog in the right yard is "unacceptable". In fact, apologizing in such a manner doesn't seem much like an apology at all. It just seems like a page torn from the Plastic Persona Media Guide to Reputation Damage Control: Spin. The apology reeks of nothing more than a transparent attempt to avoid losing the endorsement deals because of public 'outrage'. That is obscene, just like the sickening amounts of money that companies dole out to "superstars". As if blinding talent and ability in an extremely specific skill set automatically translates into good judgment and discerning intellect when it comes to choice of soft drink, fast food, wristwatch, cell phone, or any other ephemera of modern life.

It's a sham, it's arrogant and it makes me want to invoke the Right To Privacy From Celebrities Personal Lives. Frankly, this falls in the category of things I don't want or need to know. Another incredibly talented athlete, awash in money and adulation, free from the daily grind of having to truly work for a living* gets found out on his infidelity?

Someone needs to explain to me why this is important.

Mr. Woods is correct in that what he did was unacceptable. What he did, however, is not new or different. It has been going on since men and women have been men and women. That he did it makes it no worse and no different than any other schmuck who committed adultery. It certainly does not make it more interesting.

How many people really know Tiger Woods? How many people are really his friends? You can be a fan, you can be interested in what he does as a golfer** but if you let it influence your life to the point where you feel you need an apology because of his bad behavior, it is time to reconsider your own values. Why are you looking to Tiger to be your moral compass?

The only people Tiger should be apologizing to is the wife, the friends and the family. In  private. Press conferences do not count. 

Go home, Mr. Woods, sit down and STFU for a while. Then look your loved ones in the eye and tell them you are sorry. That is the only way it will truly be meaningful.

*Please, spare me the crap about how much practice and travel and oh how hard it is to get that ball in the little cup. Boo hoo. Golf is not hard work, no matter how much time you spend in the sun. My father was an auto mechanic for 45 years, and a good one. Did he get a multi-million dollar endorsement deal because he could change a head gasket? No. That's difficult and dirty work, to do it every day for that long. Dad had the calluses and the grime under the nails to prove it. No one carried my father's tool chest for him.

**For the record, I think Tiger Woods is astounding at what he does. So is Michael Phelps. I can't do what they do, nor do I judge my self-worth by what others are good at doing. However, I don't know them, I'm not their family or friends. Whether dipping a wick or taking ill-advised hits from a bong, it really has no bearing on how I live my life. I don't look to them for validation or support. Why would I? That is what friends and family do. Friends and family also call you on your bad behavior, and forgive you if you sincerely admit to your transgressions.


  1. Well said, Gumbo. This bullshit always gets under my skin. The public and media all act like whatever act has been perpetrated by whatever celebrity is some personal affront on themselves, but then they are also the ones glued to the tube or buying up the scandal rags so they don't miss one gory detail. And it's all so scripted now. He's had his press conference, admitted his guilt and gone into "therapy." A few months down the road his spin people will start getting his name back out there and then he'll be playing again. Then the sponsors who dumped him will jump back on board and all will be forgotten.

    And the kids. The ones who all look up to Tiger. Do you really think they care? Have their lives actually been shattered? Will they give up golf now or become adulterers themselves? How about we all just knock back a cup of STFU and get on with our lives.

  2. When he said he needed to go back to therapy my only thought was "drug therapy for all those STDs he caught"

  3. Gumbo, I so agree! Hubby and I have had this discussion several times whenever an adulterous (sp?) celebrity appears in the newspapers.
    "They're supposed to set an example. They're role models," says hubby.
    At that point I become a little irate because I think it's nobody's business but their own what they do in their private lives and I get sick of seeing it plastered all over the papers, especially on the front page..... as if there aren't more important things going on in the world. Like you say, they're responsible only to their family and their own conscience. Whatever they've done doesn't make them any the less a great sportsperson, actor/actress, singer, etc. Good post! (I'm ranting too now lol)

  4. Great points all around. I think part of it is the media's righteousness about making sure we are all informed.
    The way in which telecommunications corporations shape our culture and attempt to shape our lives is what makes many people very sick.
    Have a good weekend, Gumby!

  5. It was, you have to admit, a great performance. It is a ritual, a rite of public atonement, that has become a necessary part of our cultures around the world. Sincerity is left to the private world of family and close friends. The public apology is like an Academy Awards presentation, just for show.

    The public demanded it, or at least demanded to see it (possibly because the media made such a fuss), as evidenced by the number of people who have watched it either "live" or in the incredible number of replays. We, the public, go to car races for the crashes, not the race; rubber-neck the traffic accidents and train wrecks; gawk at footage of plane crashes and disasters. It must be something in our genes.

    You are right, it should be a private matter but that is not how our society (or any society, for that matter) works. It's all about the spectacle, isn't it?

  6. Thats exactly what I thought as soon as I saw him on the TV, I didn't even finish watching, I didn't care for him. And you are right, how many women out there get hurt by cheating husbands? What makes his wife worthy to cry on screen while these women have to bear with their issues in their own privacy? I know a whole bunch of sponsors dropped Tiger after his inexcusable behavior, but I also remember one keeping him on, I think it was Gillette? They said that they are only concerned with his professional life, which he is good at, and not his personal life. Although I could care less for cheating scum bags like him, I have to agree with Gillette, work is work, play is play, those two don't mix.

  7. I'm not sure which is more insulting; the media for actually thinking/promoting that this is "ground shakingly disappointing" to us, or Tiger for buying into that sh*t enough to hit the stage.

    Ps. Mechanics rock.
    Pss. Still chuckling at Kat's comment.

  8. I think that all sports 'stars' are held up to be role-models whether they like it or not.

    We get told how they eat healthy, their dedicated, their determined and we're often told how they overcame adversity, due to their colour, upbringing and other 'up-lifting' bollocks!

    Its the perfect story to milk money from the little ones and their parents!

    For this they get slapped with plenty of money and positive accolades, including 'a good role model'.

    And they take the money and assume the roll.

    What a load of shit!

    All of my idols are in music and film and they do what they want and rarely have to apologize to anybody. Nobody, unless your completely stupid, ever considers a rock star or movie star to be anything more than what they actually are - an entertainer!

    And people in sport make much more money than any jobbing gigging band or artist to!

    Many people in sport are now just rich actors. Happy to suck off their own image and to live behind a fake mask of integrity....until they get caught and attempt to buy everybody off!

    Fuck the lot of them!

    Cheers Irish, I enjoyed that!

  9. What Tiger Woods or any "celebrity" is is doing or not doing is the least important thing in my life, and I bet most any other person's life.

    If you are existing only as a voyeur of another public figure's personal life, you're not living at all.

  10. Second this rant! who gives a Sh**? what the hell, the guy is a sleaze, so are the women who screwed him knowing he was married, no sympathy for any of them, and yeah why does he think we care? $$$ shallow money endorsements, that's all he is worried about, other than that, he's just another scum of the earth who got married and didn't give a crap about her.

  11. bravo, well said. I suppose we can all stop holding our collective breath now while waiting to see what Elin is going to do... the ripples from that pool of drama will undoubtedly not affect the tide of my day to day existence.

  12. I'm giving you a standing ovation right now. I couldn't agree with you more.

    I also did a blog on what Tiger REALLY meant to say during his public "apology". Go check it out if you get bored. ;)


  13. Amen and who the hell even cares? You know, when it comes down to it, he's human. Humans screw up. Why is this any more special or tragic than my neighbor cheating on his wife? Why is Tiger's wife any more important or his kids, or mistress(es) or himself? He's not.

    I always kind of think this, too, when celebrities die. Sure, sometimes it's sad because we will miss that singer or this actor, but really, they are just people. There is grand scale no public mourning for non-celebrities. It's no more tragic for a celebrity to die in a car crash or from drugs or what have you, than it is for any other person on this earth.

    I'm so sick of "celebrities".

  14. Amen! That is exactly how I feel too. I am not the least bit interested in his infidelities...His apologies need to be directed to his wife and family. Quite frankly, if I were his wife, I would cut my losses and run.

  15. This is why I love you, IG!


  16. There is a lot wrong with the media (and us?) when a guy can get up and apologize for being a pig, and it gets "breaking news" banners. So what if he's a great golfer (...and he is)? Who really cares? And after he weeps on camera, he gets to go the sex addiction therapy, again? Seems like a booming business. Next times Tiger is on the road and is feeling a bit frisky, take a page from amateur golf handbook - Grip it and rip it. If you know what I mean... IG, a good rant. A very good rant.

  17. He had a bad case of motor mouth, just as Mark Sanford did. Tiger needed to make a very brief statement--perhaps just say that he was getting help and was making amends to his family. That would have been enough. He went on longer than a Baptist preacher from Georgia. Enough...

  18. What lit my wick was the press's reaction to his "apology." One guy said he felt it wasn't "humble enough." I looked at Beloved and said, "Oh, give me a %#$@ing BREAK - they've spent YEARS putting him on a pedestal and making him THE professional sports Golden Boy, and now they want him to be humble? SHEESH."



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